https://www.normalisland.co.uk/p/the-free-speech-president-is-deporting
This is how free speech is supposed to work...
Laura
and Normal Island News
Mar 21, 2025

About a year ago, Trump supporters were calling the US president “genocide Joe” at a rally, and worryingly, Trump encouraged them. Thankfully, Trump is now a reformed character who wholeheartedly supports genocide and understands no one should be allowed to criticise the US president. This means he has principles now.

As a result of his new-found principles, Trump is deporting anyone who disagrees with him, even when court orders say he can’t. Outrageously, judges have decided something called “the law” applies to the president and he can’t do whatever he wants. I’m unclear why those judges have not been arrested like the French space researcher who dared question Trump’s cuts to scientific research.

The French terrorist was caught at an airport when security checked his phone for wrong-think and found texts critical of Trump. Disappointingly, terrorism charges were dropped by the FBI because having the wrong opinion is not quite the same as planting bombs.

As the leader of the master race, Trump is so self-confident, he is erasing black and brown people from the history books to prove that white supremacists are better. He is sensibly pardoning the paler variety of terrorists while eliminating the real enemies, such as the department of education. This is because the people who can’t point to Mexico on a map might still be smart enough to see through his shit.

In a recent town hall meeting, Republican voters spontaneously turned Marxist and chanted “tax the rich!” This was awkward because Trump’s tax plan will transfer money from the working class to the top 0.1% of earners. Trump depends on Americans being smart enough to operate the machines and stupid enough to believe his tax plan is good for them.

Worryingly, conservatives are turning sentient and realising Trump is doing fuck all for them, but perhaps he can distract them by firing an assault rifle into the air and screaming “Yee-haw!” while waving a Bible. This will prove to Americans, Trump is a man of the people.

Trump might not be able to jail thought criminals for terrorism, but he can still be as cruel as possible to them. For example, Trump is deporting the spouse of an American citizen who criticised him, even though the person being deported did not criticise him.

You are only allowed a family in the US if you agree with the president, meaning you should change your views every time the US changes president. If you don’t like changing your views every few years, you must ensure the US never changes president again, but even then, Trump changes his opinions every few days so it’s hard to keep up!

Perhaps you should not express an opinion and let people like me tell you what you are thinking today. I mean people like myself always make sense.

Today, you should be happy that Trump is the peace president who is taking on the military industrial complex by… bombing Yemen, helping Israel bomb Gaza, threatening to bomb Iran, and briefing Elon Musk about war with China.

Trump is even threatening to attack Russia, just to confuse everyone whose grift is calling him a “Putin puppet” because they can’t admit to agreeing with him on the other wars. The only difference with this lot is they want one more war than Trump does, the lunatics.

I have no time for the people who say “orange man bad, teehee!” because I think the orange man is good actually. The other side pretended to be sad about genocide, but Trump fully supported the murder of 200 Palestinian children during the Gaza ceasefire. Seven kids had their legs amputated without anaesthesia, but I’m unclear if Trump will endorse this because some of his supporters might still have a conscience, you never know.

Americans are being offered credit to order food, but you will be happy the US is sending $300 million a day to Israel. If you’re a hungry American, just know your tax dollars are contributing to the unimaginable suffering of children. If you are among the Americans who disagree with this brutality, you will soon be deported to the next place the US is going to bomb. God bless America