https://www.normalisland.co.uk/p/ed-sheeran-performs-half-a-show-to
Normal Island News
Sep 20, 2026

Ed Sheeran performed at Lincoln Financial Field last night, only two and a half hours later than planned. He cut his show in half after his support acts dropped out in solidarity with Gaza. Apparently, something bad is happening over there.

Anyway, the concert was the most exciting experience since the bank left me on hold for 45 minutes, playing “Shape of You” on loop. It was amazing when it finally got going. It’s just a shame we had to wait around forever.

Instead of the opening performances, we got Gaza protests. Strangely, ordinary people don’t find it hard to make a stand like Ed does. They can look at schools and hospitals being bombed and say, “This is wrong, no matter what Israel’s excuse is”. Personally, I blame social media.

For a few days, it looked like the tour would be called off, after the other acts realised it’s embarrassing to perform with Ed Sheeran. Luckily, Ed scraped together a replacement band that wouldn’t let genocide get in the way of making a few quid.

When he finally walked out on stage, you could’ve heard a pin drop, if it wasn’t for Tommy Robinson loudly clapping and yelling, “Go on, Ed.”

While it was brilliant to see the likes of Little Tommy and Boy George, thousands of Ed’s fans didn’t turn up. The place was so quiet, it reminded Ed of his busking days, although he played to bigger crowds back then. He was just relieved anyone turned up at all and immediately teared up. He cried for himself like he couldn’t cry for the kids of Gaza. He then addressed the elephant in the room. No, not Lucy Connolly. What the fuck is wrong with you?

Ed made a speech about the Macklemore thing and really spoke from his heart. Well, he read from a teleprompter, but that’s the same thing when you’re a robot. He sensibly started off with Israel’s excuses and carefully rebranded the genocide as a “conflict”. He told us that what’s happening over there is “unjustifiable”, but wouldn’t say who’s to blame.

He explained he’s too stupid to understand concepts like war and genocide, which is why he never gets involved in this stuff. He performed a concert for Ukraine just a month after that war started, but he hasn’t figured out Gaza after three years. These things are easier to understand when the victims are white.

Needless to say, Ed was let down by his good friend Macklemore. He honestly had no idea Mack would perform the same songs he performs every time he’s on stage. He certainly didn’t expect him to say “Free Palestine”—that one came out of the blue.

Ed honestly thought Macklemore would Mackle less. You can imagine his confusion when the other acts turned out to also not be moral vacuums. He thought they were all fake Irish like him, but they’re actually real Irish. Apparently that means something.

Ed skilfully exonerated himself from blame, insisting he did not make the decision to drop Macklemore. His promoter did, after pressure from Bob Kraft and other billionaires. As the headline act, Ed was powerless in this situation. He couldn’t have walked out, or threatened legal action, or even said, “Look mate, I’m Ed Sheeran. You’ll do as I say.”

All of this happened against Ed’s will, which is why he didn’t apologise for dropping his friend of 13 years, or even say he disagreed with the decision. He simply called it one of the worst weeks of his life, centring himself as the real victim of genocide.

We all know that Ed and Bob are massive humanitarians, now that they need to rebuild their tattered reputations. Ed cares so much about Palestinian children that he didn’t bother saying which charities “in the region” he’s donating to. If he admitted it was the IDF that could’ve got awkward.

To prove he truly cares, Ed dedicated his opening performance of the night to the children of Gaza and then began with “When your legs don’t work like they used to before…”