In an event that was as confusing as it was horrific, a Zionist has committed an act of terrorism in Germany. Mainstream journalists quickly condemned this brutality because we assumed the suspect was an Islamist, but now we know the truth, we don’t want to talk about it anymore. This is because we have no idea if we are supposed to support or condemn this guy. He is kind of like our Luigi Mangione…
Upon hearing the news, one journalist (not me) whimpered “Yay… Zionism?” and sheepishly looked around to see if anyone joined in, but her colleagues shushed her. It was… awkward. We are now anxiously waiting to see if Germany apologises for being the victim of one of Zionism’s hourly mass murders. Fuck, this is confusing…
Ordinarily, Zionism puts its terrorists in IDF uniforms and they only kill the Arabs that we don’t consider human. Suddenly, we are reminded it wasn’t long ago that we saw Germans like we see Arabs today. It gets even worse when you consider the suspect is an Arab, but he loves Israel so does that make him one of ours?
Things get even more confusing when you consider we’re friends with al-Qaida now, and the US has dropped the $10 million price on al-Golani’s head. The Biden administration even gave $10 million to HTS! It’s unclear if al-Golani claimed the reward for finding himself, but it’s great to see everyone is making friends now. Politics is all about compromise… with the worst possible people.
Hopefully, Germany can stop embarrassing Israel and everyone can make up because the confusion is affecting our favourite big tech oligarchs, especially Elon Musk.
I understand Elon has removed the name of the terror suspect from the Twitter trending list. He is awaiting instructions from Israel after discovering the suspect is a huge fan of Elon and shares his love for AfD - the Alternative for Deutschland party. This is Germany’s equivalent of Reform.
I understand the suspect lionises Geert Wilders and shares the moderate views of our rulers, such as anti-immigration, as well as non-contradictory support for Israeli expansion into Syria. He is known to be a big believer in the Greater Israel Project. Aren’t we all?
In a promising turn of events, the terrorist has impressed the Biden administration so much they’re quietly sending him a shipment of weapons, although they acknowledge "he has killed too many people". Biden has set a red line of no more mass murders in Germany, but if the suspect goes on to level Berlin, the US will probably still support him.
Prime Minister Starmer acknowledged the terrorist "may have violated the law", but reiterated that he has “legitimate concerns”. Therefore, the British government will not suspend arms sales to him. When asked why we are arming a terrorist, the prime minister explained “he has the right to defend himself”. He refused to answer when asked if the RAF has conducted surveillance flights for the terrorist, citing “national security”.
Excitingly, I’ve heard that Starmer would like to recruit the suspect as a government advisor once this thing blows over. I mean why not? We’ve already put supporters of Zionist terrorism into the House of Lords, he would fit right in The last working-class hero in England.
Clio the cat, ? July 1997 - 1 May 2016 Kira the cat, ? ? 2010 - 3 August 2018 Jasper the Ruffian cat ? ? ? - 4 November 2021
"It’s unclear if al-Golani claimed the reward for finding himself...
Very perceptive of you to call this out in context of his jihadi, as well as his geographical origin, as in al-Golani. It tells you all. We wait for this construct to fall apart, which it will. Israhell has bitten more than they can chew .. obviously, imo. And Turkiye is in trouble.
"Hey it's Xmas" - forgive and forget, and a burka for all
on December 22, 2024, 2:22 pm