Yesterday saw the largest gathering of flag shaggers in human history as Tommy Robinson supporters marched in London to finally "take are cuntry back" and "save are women" from brown people.
The aim of the protest was to "unite the kingdom" by alienating every demographic they don't like, as well as anyone who sees members of those demographics as human beings. Anyone who did not join in the hate-fest is obviously divisive.
The protesters came out in such huge numbers that the government felt obligated to say it takes their "legitimate concerns" seriously, unlike, for example, when people protest against genocide. Racism is more respectable than opposition to genocide, you see.
We witnessed truly historic scenes as Anglo Saxon warriors (divorced dads) patriotically pissed in gardens and drew crosses on houses with red crayons. St George would be beaming with pride. What the fuck do you mean, St George came from the Middle East? I don't believe you!
I wiped tears from my eyes as I watched the whole event from the safety of my living room. I would have gone in person, but being a woman, there was a strong chance one of them would have bottled me, so I stayed home.
Still, even my laptop screen was able to capture the glory as the marchers waved Union Jacks, flags of St George, and um, Stars of David. Turns out our hatred of the Middle East has an exception because Israel is the Only Western Country in the Middle East. I wonder how it got there...
The sea of gammon fizzed with small dick energy as Palestinian flags were brought onto the stage and ripped to shreds. Palestinians aren't allowed to take their country back, only we are, the people who have our own country and have historically been fond of stealing others.
Thankfully, police decided against using facial recognition technology, like they do at events like the Notting Hill carnival, because if they used it here, they would have had to arrest everyone, given it was the largest gathering of wanted criminals you will ever see.
It's amazing that all of these fine folks came out in such large numbers for their hero, little Tommy Robinson. Tommy is like a modern-day Napoleon by which I mean he is roughly the size of a nine-year-old.
Elon Musk kindly helped encourage the most unstable people imaginable to join the protest. He bravely incited violence from the safety of Twitter, telling the mob, "Whether you choose violence or not, violence is coming to you. You either fight back or you die."
Don't worry, it's fine when rich white people use this sort of language so Elon is not in any trouble.
The protesters were so inspired by Elon's words that they threw rocks at police vans. This was to show how mad they are that foreigners come here and don't respect our laws. One protester even held up a banner demanding that we make sharia law illegal. Yes, we should make a law that is not the law illegal to stop it being the law, even though it is not the law and wasn't going to be the law. Only people with the bestest brains can process what I just said there.
The patriotic protesters were so keen to save our women that they tried really hard to break through the police barrier so they could beat up the counter-protesters... who were mostly women. Outrageously, these women said they would feel safer with your average Muslim than they would with a member of the far-right. They deserve everything they get, if you ask me.
When the protesters could not get a hold of the women, they sensibly decided to have a massive scrap with police instead. A patriotic scrap. Twenty-five were arrested, but not for terrorism-related charges. We only do that for protesters in wheelchairs who hold signs saying genocide is wrong. Police got like 900 of those bastards last time.
Surprisingly, it turns out that 70% of the woman-protectors who were arrested have previously been arrested for domestic violence. It's okay though, hitting women is only wrong when foreigners do it. Our women should be grateful to be disciplined by a patriot.
Anyways, it's fair to say the protest was a roaring success. As a result of little Tommy's heroic actions, all of the nurses who keep the NHS running have fled the UK. We have finally got our country back, but now half of the protesters are sitting in accident and emergency and there is no one to see them. BollocksThe last working-class hero in England. Clio the cat, ? July 1997 - 1 May 2016 Kira the cat, ? ? 2010 - 3 August 2018 Jasper the Ruffian cat ??? - 4 November 2021 Georgina the cat ???-4 December 2025
Finely crafted stilettos of mockery, humour, satire and truth, one after the next.The corporate media are complicit in the Gaza genocide. Never forget what they did. Never forgive them for it.
on September 14, 2025, 6:28 pm