You've done so well by your baby, 17 is a good life. Still it's hard. And unfortunately when you have senior kitties, it's a reality we may have to deal with again and again. We too have 11...down from 30. And most are older..,three are nearing 17. Then several in their teens. So like I said we're quite similar in our situations. Sending many hugs to you. May the peace of knowing you provided a home full of love for many years for your babies help ease your pain. Take care.