I dunno what you lot are doing wrong.

I am 80,run 10miles at daybreak, eat like a horse take no medication, down 5 pints Guinness every Saturday, and shag like a randy Jack Russell on heat.
I also have a second home and another wife at my home on Venus.
I tell more but I have just pissed myself,again. but I don't care there is a nice lady comes to wash me this afternoon.