I havent lost anyone REALLY close to me yet...Not a parent, spouse or child... And I, like many others, often dont say anything to those suffering loss for fear it will be the wrong thing. I'm going to take a risk here and say that, with the recent loss of a very dear lived-in-the-house pet/child, I have begun to learn the lesson of experiencing grief, then choosing to express gratitude that I had that presence in my life. (That must be what people aim for when they have a "celebration of their life" style funeral.) At first, you HAVE TO cry your eyes out...you wouldn't have a heart if you didn't... But then I think the greatest honor you can show for that person is to truly DWELL on how lucky you were that you had them at all. HUGS