Last night there was a huge cake in the break room and assorted little packaged cakes. I didn't have any but I had a Milky Way candy bar a few hours prior to the lunch break. There was a time I couldn't stand the taste of sugar because it was too acidic. No problem now. Some breads & baked goods make my skin break out in a rash but I am drawn to eat them, like a moth to a flame. In the lunch room I pushed the search button to look through the sandwich machine selections and found a v8 juice and a string cheese that maybe I would like to eat. (Whatever happened to the garden salad they used to stock?) but nothing sounded good. It was in that moment I went back to the lab and found a sealed container, opened it, and mixed up a Dutch Chocolate Cambridge shake.
Right now I am like the alcoholic who finally reached the "bottom". There is a song "I've been down so very da... long that it look like up to me." I think it was performed by the Doors. I've been down so long that it feels like the "normal" and I recognize that this "normal" is very unhealthy, and it is unacceptable to continue down this path of self destruction. I feel sick and tired of feeling fat, sick, and tired. When I look in the mirror I do not recognize the person looking back at me. I can just imagine what people say when they see me. Like many morbidly obese people I fat shame myself. I really don't need the ridicule of others, I can do that myself. It's getting harder and harder to walk. I used to love walking, hiking. Now I want to stay in bed or go back to bed if and when I get up. I drag myself to work and drag myself home looking forward to sleep. So it's Day 1. Wish me luck.
I'll report back in tonight.
Everyone have a great day.
Re: Day 1
Posted by MaryL on 5/19/2018, 7:37 pm, in reply to "Day 1"
OK so I do not think I can do 9 days much less 90 days of SS. I do have a 90 day supply. I will not commit that many days because I am just not sure I can hold up to my end of the deal. I am going to take this one day at a time. So far I am doing very well.
Everyone have a wonderful evening!
MaryL....
Posted by Me on 5/20/2018, 10:52 am, in reply to "Re: Day 1"
One day at a time. It sounds like a "Slogan" OH wait it is a slogan. But the truth of the matter is...... That's all we have. You aren't guaranteed "9 days" and Yvonne is not guaranteed "100 days" We all have to take it "One day" We have no choice. We can say it all day long,"One Day At a Time" but.....It is literally all we have. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow isn't here. It even goes deeper than that, One day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute, one second. Out next breath could be our last and we didn't even get the "One day" we are talking about. So, honey, choose what is best for you. I know you have so many things against you. That darn snack machine. The break room, a hubby that wants an eating partner. But you have to do what is best for you. "SS" is wonderful. But, if you mess up one day of "SS" and it ruins your whole attitude, progress and you eat more than you did before. Not the mention the beating yourself up and self hatred. Then how did "SS" help? I don't know how else to say this. And maybe Pam will have to straighten it out. But I see "SS" and what this board is about just the tool Cambridge, to help us get healthy. Lose weight. Live a better life mentally and physically. Cambridge was designed to be a perfect food replacement product. To be a sole source of nutrition. What is called "SS" BUT.............. It wasn't designed ONLY for that. It is designed to be used the best way for each of us. Thw 50 days will come for you regardless if you are "SS" or if you are using Cambridge to supplement a healthy eating plan. 50 days will come for Yvonne, using "SS" using Cambridge as a total food replacement. Different roads, different challenges, but still 50 days down the road. What we all learn in the next 50 days, is what is important. Our mental stability and clear headedness. That at that 50 day mark, we did our best., We were human. We are further along than we were, even if we are not where we want to be yet. (Hugs) Blessed Sunday.
It's a New Day, MaryL!!!
Posted by Yvonne on 5/19/2018, 1:13 pm, in reply to "Day 1"
I am so happy that you have taken the bull by the horns. It's hard but it can be done.
We all know it is hard to lose weight contrary to popular opinion that "we can lose weight any time we wanted". It's exceedingly difficult because we are bucking "the system", our bodies, and our comfort zone. It's virtually impossible!! That's why 75% of Americans are overweight or obese. BUT, they don't have Cambridge!! WE DO! We have the magic bullet!!
I know you can do it MaryL. Because you don't want to keep feeling that way. Just take it one day at a time. Just stay true to Cambridge and it will get us there.
Oh MaryL....
Posted by Me on 5/19/2018, 12:17 pm, in reply to "Day 1"
I think this post could be written by anyone of us. "Being so low, you have to look up to see down" was not what we were designed to do. Our lives are to be full. Yes, hard, challenging,sad, but also happy, encouraged and just plain.....human. Know what I really love about this post and Yvonnes too... You going from Day 1 and counting up. Yvonne starting the countdown at 100. I can't wait to hear the conversation you two have when you meet on day fifty and compare notes. I hope we are invited to that gathering... MaryL remember, we are here for you, even if the snack machine isn't....
Meet you in the middle
Posted by Yvonne on 5/19/2018, 1:14 pm, in reply to "Oh MaryL...."
