I'm back in business. I'm very happy to have my Rich Chocolate and this time I got somr Rich Vanilla too. I have my can of pumpkin and spices ready and that will be my lunch today. I did eat breakfast this morning but I prefer to start SS mid day anyway. UPS had perfect timing!
UPS delivered!! I received my Rich Chocolate Shake and just in the nick of time.
Lately, I have been becoming somewhat depressed (with all the added responsiblities and worry that go along with being a caretaker for my husband after his stroke).
He is coming along very slowly, but I am truly a mess. I put on a happy face because no one wants to see a grumpy, old, woman complaining all the time. But, I have to keep it inside and it is taking its toll on my psyche.
I am so glad that the Cambridge order came yesterday because I now have no excuses. But, there are ALWAYS excuses for fat people like me. My Dad would say, "Excuses are for losers, Results are for winners!" I am slowly seeing my face get thinner. But, not at the rate I want it to be.
The realization of celebrating Thanksgiving at a subacute rehabilitation facility just knocked me for a mental loop. The first time in all of our years married we are not having Thanksgiving at our home. I cried and cried and then I got over it and ordered some dinnerware, flatware and glassware for the reserved table at the nursing home for the 6 of us. I have to remember that my husband is ALIVE!! God spared him and for that I am totally grateful and thankful. This Thanksgiving is truly one for the ages in our familiy history books.
Anyway, I have rambled on long enough. That's why I love this Support Board. I know you care and I can spill my guts out and ventilate with those who are going through the same thing without worrying about the intrusive and deviant nature of Facebook lurking into my soul and giving my information to the Russians. Anything on the internet is accessible, I know. But, this site seems more private to me.
Let's keep sipping and drinking, walking and hoping.
Dear Yvonne, I am so sorry you are going through this difficult time. I understand your grieving for your life before this life changing event and the effort it will take to not let it overtake your gratitude for still having your husband with you on this earth. I know how much you value the holiday season with your traditions and family time. I admire the fact that in spite of these changes your family is facing, you are rising to the challenge (as you have your entire life) and are adapting to the new. You are giving your family the celebration of thankfulness that this year has nothing to do with pilgrims and everything to do with being together.
Cry anytime you can find a private moment and feel the urge. I am a big believer in embracing grief, even if it is just for the life we once had. There is a reason why we humans heal with our tears. We release our pain and move on.
I'm glad our little board is a comfortable place for you to express your thoughts and feelings. We are a small group, but we are mighty in our caring for each other.
I haven't even been to the board for several weeks, until just now, but I have prayed consistently for you and your husband. How blessed he is to have you for a wife!
This summer I watched as the scales went up, slowly at first -- one pound, one pound, two pounds and then five pounds. Next time I looked, it was 10 pounds and now I'm back up to 220.5, on a body that should be 100 lbs. I'd even settle for the 146 we talked about two years ago!
But I'm half glad your husband is in subacute care facility, Yvonne. That takes the 24/7 pressure off you, and he's getting the best possible care, I'm sure, with your daily watching over him and the staff there knowing who you are and who HE is.
I wouldn't have posted -- what's to post <sickly grin> -- but when I saw this from you, I just wanted to give you a verbal hug.
And everyone else on here. As Yvonne says, this is our private place to be honest and open and vulnerable.
If there is any positive side of our support board group being small, it's that hopefully we all can feel free to talk about challenges and feelings and know we are among friends.
Karen, is there anything I can do to help? I wish I had some kind of undeniably inspirational words that I could share that would instantly clear the mind and the path to success for us all. Being burdened with this battle of obesity takes so much from our lives. It affects everything. If there is anything I can do, please let me know. And please don't stay away from the board. We are in this together. I am now challenged to lose more weight to try and once again outrun my diabetes and get my heart rate and BP under control. Age is catching up with me and where I am is still not enough. That goal of 146? It was mine too. Still have not achieved it. I've been through absolute hell the past couple of weeks trying to adjust to the meds my Dr put me on. Allergic reactions, panic attacks, extreme joint pain...a total nightmare. Now I must once again take the reins and do whatever I can to get off of these awful meds. Yvonne is doing the best she can under her circumstances. We are all doing the best we can with our current situations so why not join us in our imperfection? We can push and pull each other along. Progress is our goal and just like those pounds that came on 1 at a time, they will just as predictably come off. Come and join us!
I hope you have found a way to put yourself first, and to get those pesky pounds off.
I don't even KNOW how much I weigh now and I really don't care about the scales validating who I am or what I have done. I just get up and do the same routine each day (or try to) and I am noticing changes in my body (for the good).
Thank you for your kind thoughts, words and prayers for my husband. God is still watching over us.
