I am concerned that my phobia about being on my own is getting bigger - even hearing my neighbours walking around is enough to put me off from going just in case they hear me..so irrational I know. Does anyone else suffer with haemeroids from straining so much? Does anyone have any advice on how to get the anal sphincter to relax? I also suffer from partial pooing when you have managed to squeeze a little peddle out but you know are stuck as alot more is in the anal canal - its an awful feeling. I have tried my ipod headphones, reading ...but nothing works ...unless I feel completely alone and then the muscles relax. I am lucky too that my boyfriend is so understanding. I never have a strong urge to go so can hold it for days if necessary. Maybe that was what started by phobia in the first place - that I was so constipated as a child that it used to take me 20 minutes to go and in the end I used to wait until my parents had gone out so that I could have the toilet all to myself and would not cause any inconvenience to them by sitting there for ages - does that make sense? This pattern just got more and more reinforced in my mind that the only safe place to go was home alone! Looking forward to the spring meeting Baz.