L,

I totally understand and I'm glad you came here for help. I love this website, too.

So, I'm in my second year of college, and am struggling with parcopresis as I have been for years. In college, though, it's more of a problem. When I lived with my parents during grade school, there was always plenty of time when I was alone and could easily get the urge to go and then go. But now I have roommates that are always here, and last year I had to use big community bathrooms.

It sucks a lot sometimes, which I'm sure you know. But actually the community bathrooms last year were empty when I needed them to be. If not, it usually took just a little while for others to leave. Then and now, I just make sure while I'm at college to definitely go if at all possible.

You said a lot of cool things, L.

"I realize that I've spent so much time trying, that it gets awkward sitting there for so long. I end up leaving, disappointed and with an uncomfortable feeling." Me too! I just go in and sit on the toilet sometimes when I THINK I am able to go, but then I sit there forever, and I think "this is hopeless" and when I leave I feel unaccomplished, like "I just sat on the toilet for 20 minutes, I should have an emptier stomach!"

"but I'm so scared about what will happen and how much time I'm going to waste just trying to do something that others take 5 minutes doing." I know!! If people only knew how lucky they are not to have to worry about this!! Just like you, my parcopresis makes me afraid to travel.

As for your trip: it's a great thing your boyfriend knows. That will help enormously. One thing I have done on long trips is stay up later than everyone else. I usually can go once they're all asleep. It may be odd for him to go to bed alone, but it might help. I guess you can do that once it really becomes a problem and you start to get that full-colon gross feeling we parcopretics get sometimes.

I'm sorry this is so long, but I hope you'll fight parcopresis and have fun with your boyfriend!!