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I thought I was a freak!
Posted by TC on 3/27/2007, 7:25 pm
Oh my God! I am absolutely stunned. Up until today I thought I was a freak. I have had a phobia about going to the toilet for so long and yesterday I had a particular nasty diahhroea bug, managed to hold it off for most of the day with Immodium, then had to come home from work early because I cant go to the toilet in work. I told my mum what happened and she told me she thought I had 'Shy Bowels'. I looked it up on the internet and lo and behold, it is an actual phobia, it has an actual name - Parcopresis, and lots of people suffer with this to a more or lesser degree. I thought I was just weird. I cant believe I am not alone. I spent most of this afternoon in work reading all the posts on here (didn't get much work done) but I feel so much better now I realise I am not alone. I dont remember when this started, but I think it is getting worse as I am getting older, I am 36. I absolutely cannot go to the loo at work, and I am becoming an expert at holding it in for sometimes 4 to 6 hours till I get home, although I worry what this is doing to my health. Sometimes I am in such pain from holding it too long. I live with my 14 year old daughter and dont have a problem with her being around, but if my boyfriend stays, I make him go downstairs and play loud music so he cant hear. I think I have IBS too, probably caused by me, as I only seem to have developed it lately, and I get very bloated and gassy, if I think my poo is going to be noisy, no way can I go. Its awful, my boyfriend is cool about it, and he says, everyone poos etc, but it doesn't matter I just cant. Its not ruining my life or anything, because I never go very far, and I can always go when I get home, and like I said I tend to hold it if I have to, but holidays etc are a nightmare. I cant go in a public place at all. So again, once in the caravan, hotel, everyone has to go away while I go and thats that. I was so sad to read about the people whose lives and relationships really suffer because of this, but I can see how it could. I dont think I'll ever get better, but at least I know I'm not alone in this. Good luck to you all, and try not to let it beat you. PS. I've got a couple of interesting stories as to why this might have started with me, things that happened when I was small, but I think I'll save it for another day, this message is long enough. xxx