This would create some anxiety for you.i understand that how we are raised affects how we see ourselves. i was raised to unconsciously think that women dont fart infront of their partner. lo and behold i just would not even fart infron of my bf. he does it infron of me and i dont' like it..
i suggest start from square one again with getting your BM back to a regualr routine, say in the morning, so you can enjoy ur day without it hangimg over ur head all the time. One thought gives birth to another thought and so on until its a run away horse and your out of control! this is what has lead u here all upset becuase of run away thoughts! start with a routine and build your way up to define who you are as a person that does function!
a woman is the same as a man we are just different sex. we all have bottoms and internals. talk to your mum if you want or your dad about goin to the loo and see if there is something you can learn from. your bf has to understand you are a functioning person like he is. he has to accept women fart and poo and all that so if he can't handle it , its his problem. not yours!