Jenny,

Have you considered getting a hotel room you can retreat to on trips? It can create awkwardness when people inquire about it, but if you're able to relieve yourself and enjoy your time with family/friends, it's totally worth it. I've had to do the same thing on numerous occasions.

I know how stressful it can be when you feel like your partner doesn't understand the problem. A girl recently left me and cited this issue as one of the reasons. You can imagine how that felt.