hi mysecret,

i liked your bit about the 'i don't travel well' excuse.
i might use it myself in the future. i have the same problem trying to find a way visiting people and actually feel comfortable at the same time.

only it wouldn't work the other way - eg. my boyfriend's family want to visit us next year and obviously i cannot tell them to stay in a hotel. also i can't stay in a b&b myself while they are in our flat.
so i am already anxious about it cause i feel trapped and in a no-win situation.
like you i feel as long as i have my 'morning time' ALONE and nobody in the next room i would be fine all day.

but then there are the nights as well. since everything would be quiet i would develop an intense anxiety about MAYBE getting a bad stomach and having to go and then everyone would hear it. this thought alone has actually brought on a bad stomach in the past, but i can't consciously stop my mind thinking..

i was in that situation before when my bf's sister once stayed over after a night out..i couldn't sleep and felt extremely anxious, even though she was drunk (which made it only marginally better).
another situation (sorry if i'm boring anyone) was a couple of weeks ago.
i went to a school reunion which was too far away to return home at night.
so i accepted an offer of a friend to stay at her and her bf's place (she had been in my class as well and we were once best friends).

all i can say is i will never do that again. i got a severely bad stomach at the end of the night but was unable to go for obvious reasons.
i fell asleep for just 2 hours. i woke up with a burning pain in my guts knowing i could only make my way home in about 3 or so hours. (she lives in some village and i don't have my own transport).
i was well and truly *****.
i struggled to just 'exist' until i could get back home. this is the situation i have always feared, being stuck somewhere. when i finally got back home i was so relieved and i felt truly traumatized, like i've just survived some life-or-death situation.
i can't explain and it might sound exaggerated, but to me it was one of the worst situations i have ever been in, and one that might easily be repeated, and that just by staying over somewhere. how sad is that.
i have sworn to myself whatever the cost and whatever excuses i will have to make up i will NOT get myself into such a situation where i felt so helpless and totally without any control about me being able to leave.

thanks for listening/reading.