But I don't see any possible way to desensitize to a shy bowel. With urinating, you can load up on water and you'll have to pee. Then, all you have to do is go to some bathroom, find favourable circumstaces, and "let it go." You can't produce a bowel movement. That is, unless you want to take laxatives frequently, which will only be more damaging in the long run.
So, unless your partner is willing to help you desensitize, there isn't much hope. I'm a young male. The prospect of possibly living single for the rest of my life is a tough idea to juggle in my mind. How do I know a woman out there would be willing to help me out? Of course, ideally, such a person exists. But what are my chances of meeting that person? Are we destined to suffer? Is there no way out?