love the concept of forgetting fears. and absolutely agree that if we can forget our fear of monsters in the closet then we can forget fears around the water closet as well. however, i do think shy bowel involves different fears that go way deeper, hence its easier said than done to forget them. i say this because our gut has its own brain (the enteric nervous system) which is very old and focused entirely on survival and feeding (which is also a survival function). this gut brain has control of the unconscious part of the anal sphincter and complete control of the peristaltic movements of the colon. both of these are needed in the act of pooping. the good news though is that the gut brain takes some cues from the head brain, so we can work with the head brain (thoughts and behaviours) to influence and update the gut brain's responses and behaviour. this is what i've found most useful in my own recovery - cognitive behavioural therapy.
was interested to hear you talk about the fear of being uncomfortable if you don't shit. i can completely relate to this as a fear... but am learning that the fear (or obssessive thinking) about this makes it a whole lot worse than it needs to be. for example, i go to stay at a friend's house and i don't have my usual once a day crap for the first day or two i'm there. i've noticed that my default behaviour is to obssess about it and wish i could just go and feel the relief that crapping brings. now though, i'm getting to a place of just accepting it and trusting that i'll crap soon enough. and in the meantime, it's a bit of discomfort but i can tolerate it. ...perhaps i find this easier to do now that my recovery is going well and i know an urge to go will come along pretty soon. but there's definitely something in not focusing too much on the pain (without going into denial about it!) i think that applies to any pain: if i'm lying in bed with gut pain (i get ibs pains) then it is not that useful to lay my hands on my gut to comfort them; better to lay my hands on my heart/chest area so that i'm bringing my attention away from my gut and focusing on my heart area.
anyway, good to hear from you SP. btw: how did you come across this site? any idea on what searches you tried initially? (just so i can make the site more easily findable for people who don't know the name for this condition...