It has become apparent that my parcopresis has considerably shaped my lifestyle, my attitude to people, relationships and philosophy.
I generally need to feel free, to grant myself an option out on my commitments.
I am quite proud of my independence and freedom, but did I really build my lifestyle out of choice or out necessity considering my P?
I lived until 19 with my family made of parents and 2 siblings, 4 people almost always in the house and 1 toilet on the same floor. Nobody knew about my P, I felt it was too embarrassing and bizarre to tell. Often I did not go to the toilet for over a week.
The discomfort and the nerves I had to endure because of their presence was considerable. ...Why don't these f... bastards just go out and let me shit in peace?!!!
how much P has shaped my life and has made me antisocial in many ways?
Over the years I have built a lifestyle progressively independent of other people.
I now have several homes where I live only with my dogs,
I have a camper to be able to travel and have a private toilet, which is handy also as a spare detached toilet, if I have guests.
I have 3 long distance boyfriends, with whom I have a mostly virtual relationship,
I tend to travel by myself or with doggies and I make sure I have an en suite bathroom in hotels or even better I rent apartments when I travel.
I progressively substituted people's company with my doggies... and I feel very satisfied about this arrangement.
But there are still problems:
Example: if I have guests staying over and I do not have the camper handy, I tell them about my P if possible.... that I might need for them to go for a walk when I need to use the toilet, ....but still ....what about the times when the timing is bad? I can not possibly ask them to go for a walk, when they are asleep, during meals, or they are busy doing something that can not be interrupted.
A house guest or a long social interaction also forces me to constantly retain bowel gasses while in the presence of others, which can be extremely frustrating especially if you need to go to the toilet as well, but you can't..
Eventually this escalation of discomforts and stresses will be taken on the guest presence.
I therefore have a love-hate relationship towards guests, people and anything social.
This situatuation has slowly woven itself into a generalised antisocial attitude, luckily I am an extrovert and friendly, so this hate is reasonably
counter balanced ....so it did not developed into a deep social phobia or psychopathic tendency,...nevertheless I generally consider people
potentially frustrating..... I much rather socialize with people over the phone, than see them physically.
How common is this in P sufferers?