It must be hard on you having to go 2-4x a day, i can't imagine... i go once every 1-2 days maybe longer.

Well you're not alone in having the "accident" and it deffinately changes you afterwards for the worse

I find not eating to avoid going a bad idea as the length before you go begins to affect you more over time, the fear and build up are the most prominent parts i think.

I'm a solitary person i can't see myself getting into a relationship with anyone, but I'm young and that may change.

You must however, tell him about your problem.. I'v only come to terms with this thing recently and in my head i cannot shake the thought of how pathetic i am that such a simple primal thing can send me to panic attacks and mental breakdown.

If he can't understand then being with him is a mistake in my opinion but then again i don't know the guy. Ultimately your choice but you've wriggled into a hole that i would never and in your situation i would would first tell him at least.