Jonny, it sounds like a horrendous situation for you. You're gonna have to talk to your sister about it. She's the key. Tell her you've got something really difficult to talk to her about. Show her this website. Show her your message board post. Show her the first chapter of the book that's available on the site. Don't hide your grief from her. Choose when to talk to her: the least worst time if necessary: When she's the least stressed and got at least some time to listen and talk. Good luck.