I cannot work in simple jobs like front end fast-food, cashier or simple factory work. But I have graduate level writing ability and a college level IQ (or scored such in my prime). I also have been diagnosed with BPD but I suspect my emotional problems are more a result of the obvious intellectual problems.....the shame and helplessness and anger are easy to connect with...
I get lost while traveling and am almost completely home-bound due to this. I can't count up things properly without doing it ten times. There are a hundred other simple things average/below ave. people are capable of...that I can't do.
I have been in a state of semi-shock after failing to even finish the latest attempt at a fast-food training session. I had already been hired. This has also happened in other similar places. I have never had anything like a college level job in spite of my 4 year degree and total of 223 credits. I have had maybe 300 jobs in my life and was mostly always unemployed. I am now 66.
My question to myself is how could this happen and how did it and am I really just retarded and learned in language so I can cover it up??? I will say that this stuff has absolutely haunted me since my mid teens....I have also had dozens of useless therapists.
Who else can I consult to find out what might have happened to me, and what is really wrong with me? The trauma of failing a job anybody should be able to learn...is beyond measure. And it's happened scores if not hundreds of times. Am I retarded? And if not what kind of "learning disability" might this look like? And how common is it? Who else does this happen to? And how can I ever get any support or help or..WORK???