She is a negro. Did you know that "negro" was the prefered term for dark-skinned people in the 16th century when "black" was considered offensive? It's true. Look it up. Right there on Wikipedia.

And in many languages, "negro" or a derivative is just the word for "black" as in the colour. It's certainly true for Spanish. "Negro" pronounced with a short "e" is Spanish for the colourless-hue. So you'll get wrestlers like Negro Casas. His surname is Casas so it's like Black Casas. Like Black Tiger, a Japanese wrestling gimmick portrayed by several wrestlers including the late Eddie Guerrero. And just generally, like comic book characters or whatever might be called "Black" something. Not necessarily because of their race (though there are characters named that because of their race) but just "black" to denote their menancing nature.

Then there's the United Negro College Fund, perhaps the most well-known charity for Americans of African descent (however distant). They prefer to be called "UNCF" now but when the organisation was started in the 1940s, "negro" was the polite term. Even as a kid in the 1980's I remember the commercials and they said "United Negro College Fund" without any hint of malice. Though, of course, by this time the word had fallen out of favour and there would always be some childish humour found in these commercials.

Anyway, my lady friend is about 5'2", braided hair, average build. Thanks for asking.

I have a date with a Vietnamese woman next week, though. This will probably be my last bad internet date because I think my lady friend is going to move in with me. It's a relief. Sick of these bad internet dates.

But yeah, I've had two dates off of Tinder. Both Vietnamese. Both go to the same university in Stirling. I asked if this university has a recruitment office in Vietnam and she said not as far as she knows. I looked it up on Wikipedia, and it does have recruitment programmes in Vietnam. And it wasn't a long list of countries. It's Vietnam and two other minor Asian countries. She says she found out about the university by looking in a big book of universities, though. So it seems to be coincidental.

You know, I was looking recently at what some woman I went out with once is doing now. That Pakistani doctor. I found her on Twitter. She posts as "disgruntled GP" or something. 90% of the messages are tweets or re-tweets about Islam. I can't figure out if they're pro or con. Seem to be a mixture. But she's clearly obsessed with the religion of peace. That seems to be the way with these adherents, doesn't it?

The other 10% of messages are links to articles about what the perfect age for marriage is. And then she'll comment, "I guess I missed the boat" and suchlike. So this is another preoccupation of hers.

Well, here's the thing, Dr Khan. You're kind of weird. And not attractive. But I was still willing to go out with you. But here's how it went down.

Met up. Got coffee. She talked down to me. Never offered to pay for the coffee. I mean, that's fine under normal circumstances but I come to later find out from her bragging WhatsApp updates that she drives a Ferarri and regularly makes purchases like £250 box seat Billy Joel (or similar) concerts and whatnot. She can't afford £5 for coffee? She's so indoctrinated in Islam that she thinks the man should pay for dates even if the man makes 1/5 as much money as the woman? It's absurd.

Anyway, the date went okay but not good. But I wasn't exactly drowning in the proverbial beaver so I was up to give it another shot and messaged her asking if she'd like to go out next week. To my surprise, she was. Theoretically. But she has exams that she has to study for. She was studying to be a different kind of doctor.

So she tells me to contact her in two months when the exams will be over. I say, "No problem. Whenever you're free, just let me know." She says, "No! YOU contact ME in two months." Bold and exclamation points mine. It was beneath her to tell me when she was free to go out. She wanted to be pursued. So she told me when to pursue her.

Pretty insulting but I didn't have many options so two months go by and I contact her. "How were your exams? Want to do something?" She says, "I'd love to but it turns out that I have MORE exams. Contact me in another two months."

How can you not know that you another two months of exams? I mean, yeah, I've forgotten about exams. But I never studied anyway so it didn't matter. I've NEVER forgotten about final exams, though. How is this possible? There's an extra two months of exams that you don't know about? Maybe it's a peculiarity of the English university system.

Anyway, I finally found my self-respect and never messaged her again.

She just wasn't interested. But if you're not interested in somebody, here are your three options in how to deal with unwanted attention, in order of maturity:

1. Politely tell the person that you're not interested.

2. Ignore them.

3. String them along.

She chose number three. About 90% of women choose number two, by the way.

Here's another woman I looked up recently: some Korean. I sent her a message on Plentyoffish. Got a luke-warm reply. When I get these flacid replies, I just send my phone number and tell them to contact me if they're interested. They almost never do but it's a way to weed out the timewasters who are just replying to be "polite".

But she added me on WhatsApp. So I messaged her. She'd take a day or two to reply. Again, it was always these disinterested replies.

Then one day, she finally replied to a message after a few days saying, "You're probably asleep but I just got home from watching a space movie". I got that message at 1.00 am. So the next day, I send her a message saying that yes, I was asleep. What was the movie?

At some point, I came to my senses and blocked her. I probably waited at least a day or two for her to reply and then said, "Why am I doing this? This is an unattractive, 30+ year old Korean woman who clearly is not interested."

So did this Korean woman ever find the man of her dreams? No. Still single. "Works" as an "artist". From what I saw, I can't imagine she's making much, if any, money. When I say "artist", I don't mean that she paints pictures or the like. It's conceptual art ala Yoko Ono. She puts on experimental workshops and shit like this.

Anyway, what do these two women have in common? They're both over 30, single, unattractive, and have impossibly high standards. They're waiting for Brad Pitt but they're Phyllis Diller. To catch the right fish, you need the right bait.

You think I'm going around saying, "Sorry, ladies. I'm only interested in 18 year olds with giant titties"?

So anyway, these women are single and will remain single and their entire lives and they have nobody to blame but themselves. By the way, Phyllis Diller had six children so she clearly had realistic standards. But the women today, with that internet dating warping things, they don't get it.