Also bought a huge Tesco-brand pizza. It's 2 pounds, as in weight. All of the boxes except one were ripped because these things were too big to take out of the refigerator in Tesco so people would rip them while trying to remove them. It barely fit in my large carrier bag, it barely fit in my refrigerator, and it barely fit in the oven. It's the biggest grocery store pizza I've ever seen.

I think it's here:

https://www.tesco.com/groceries/product/details/?id=293701978

It's probably far from impressive taste-wise but it's certainly large.

The worst pizza I've ever had has to be Dr Oetker. I see people praising the product but I can not fathom how. It's a German company. Why would Germany make good pizza? One could say the same for the UK, and it's true, pizza in the UK is hardly stellar but this Dr Oetker pizza is inedible. It's the only pizza I've ever thrown away.

Look at these people:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WeyUvkbT4lw

At first, I thought they were English. Just because they were eating Dr Oeteker pizza, I guess. But no. When they started talking about Red Baron pizza, I realised that they were American. They say "bedder" for "better", for example. And the more you listen, they're clearly from the Southern United States.

It's weird how I struggle to pick out accents now. I guess because it all sounds normal to me. Americans, English people, Scottish people...you know...being around these people, you start to accept the accents as normal.

Anyway, they rave over it. And when I say, "rave" they say, "It's not bad." But it looks absolutely disgusting EVEN ON THE BOX. Then they take it out of the box and it looks horrible. What the hell are those big circular things on top? Cheese, I guess. Why would they just put big circular pieces of cheese on top?

Then they say, "It's better than the cheap pizzas". DR OETKER IS A LUXURY BRAND IN THE US? For what it's worth, I've never seen Dr Oetker in the US but my information on US grocery stores is really out of date.

Anyway, eating this giant pizza now. It's almost bad but not inedible. Has almost no sauce. Very little cheese. Adequate pepperoni. The pepperoni isn't good. The cheese-stuffed crust tastes of nothing.

Watching another review from these people, I realise why I thought they were English. "Restaurant-o" indeed. It's the sort of uncultured pronunciation that one commonly hears in the UK. The son gets it right, interestlingly.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1INmOee8EqQ

It reminds me of those Pret reviews I saw that were written by Americans. "Ooh, the Pret in New York is nowhere near as good as the Prets in London. Where are the shrimp sandiches?"

There are no prawn sandwiches in the US because they're disgusting. Just because something exists in London, doesn't make it classy. The sandwiches are overpriced and awful. The only one I could stomach was the BLT. That's the most normal (American) sandwich that they have. But believe me, no American would eat a cold BLT.

They recently opened a Pret in Glasgow Central station. Only Pret in Glasgow that I'm aware of. The place is always packed. "Ooh, look at us. We've really arrived. A Pret in Glasgow! I feel so cosmopolitan!" And they're choking down the same soggy sandwich that they can get from the Boots nextdoor for half the price.

During that small claims case, the court clerk was talking to me and when I mentioned London and how the weather there is the same as in Glasgow she didn't believe this and insisted that London has nicer weather.

And when talking about London generally with people here, they always think that it's some magical place and that I'm an idiot for leaving. These people in Glasgow, at least the ones I've spoken to, clearly feel inferior to the sophisticated urban elites of London.

It's madness. What was I missing? I hated London from the start. There aren't any urban elites. It's full of foreigners and aggressive black people. Any time I heard the English language being spoken on the street, I was genuinely surprised. You'll hear every language except English.

It's a total shithole. It's insanely expensive, the people are horrendous, it's dirty, it's crowded, it's full of tourists, the trains are unbelievably bad. Fuck all of it. Getting out of there was the best decision of my life.