What do you mean two? I have no idea who McMurphy is but from the context, I assumed it was another of MattM's usernames.

Simon H was still alive as of August. You can see his riveting Twitter here:

https://twitter.com/thappers

Sadly, he's not updating much these days. Please, I have to read more Labour Party propaganda re-tweets. Or what about feminist re-tweets?

Here's a wacky idea, Simon. How about YOUR OWN stupid musings. They can still be about how awesome the Labour Party and/or feminism is.

Maybe his account got hacked by a dullard.

You know what I'm going to try to make tomorrow: Chex Mix. I used to enjoy the corporate, pre-mixed version but sadly it's not sold here.

I thought it was just like trail mix where you simply get all the ingredients and mix them together. But no. There's baking involved. And a lot of butter.

Here are the basic recipe according to the producers of Chex themselves:

3 cups Corn Chex™ cereal
3 cups Rice Chex™ cereal
3 cups Wheat Chex™ cereal
1 cup mixed nuts
1 cup bite-size pretzels
1 cup garlic-flavor bite-size bagel chips or regular-size bagel chips, broken into 1-inch pieces
6 tablespoons butter or margarine
2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
1 1/2 teaspoons seasoned salt
3/4 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon onion powder

From what I've seen online, all of the recipes are just slight variations of that.

Chex is a cereal. A cereal which nobody on earth eats as a cereal. They only buy the stuff to make Chex Mix or dog food. But Shreddies appears to be a similar product, at least visually.

I can probably find nuts.

Pretzels...I'm sure they're sold. I just need regular salted pretzels, not anything with fancy flavourings. They're probably in there with all of the cheap store-brand shit that I never look at.

Bagel chips, I don't think are sold in the UK. However, the original recipe from 1955 or whenever doesn't call for bagel chips. And bagel chips are the worst part of the mix. So no loss there.

I'll see if there's something I can substitute for them. Cheez-its would be good, but they don't sell them here. However, Jacob's Crack 'O' Bites are said to be a reasonable facsimile. Any sort of cheese-flavoured cracker would be good to use here and I'm sure that they're sold at this big Tesco near me.

Butter is widely available in the UK.

I won't be using Worcestershire sauce. I've ruined too many meals with this disgusting fish oil. I can get some soy sauce as a replacement.

Salt I have.

Garlic powder I have.

Onion powder...if it's sold in the UK, this Tesco will have it. If it's not, I'll just leave it out. I don't know why the product wouldn't be sold in the UK but from a quick search online, people are having trouble finding the stuff.

Oh, then I need a big pan. Like a caserole pan. This Tesco sells kitchen goods, I think. I'll have to see what they have.

The recipe on the Chex website says to use a microwave but how big are their microwaves? You need a bowl big enough to fit 12 cups of shit. I have a huge bowl that will fit 12 cups of shit but no way does it fit in the microwave. Maybe microwaves are enormous in the US nowadays.

Of course I can do it in two batches but that's more work and the end result will surely be worse. Oven results are always vastly superior to microwave results.

So I'll report back on my Chex Mix progress. I might not find all of the ingredients but I'll pick up what I can find and continue the search another day.