Imagine going back to 1994 with, say, a phone full of pornographic videos. You wouldn't quite be a wizard, I mean, they had the internet back then and a modern phone, at least on the face of it, isn't a huge leap in technology from those days. But still, people were buying magazines in those days. Even if you were one of the lucky few to have internet access, you're limited to pictures (which take a long time to load) and possibly some stamp-sized videos (which takes an eternity to load).

So to have a handheld device with high resolution porn (albeit on a small screen) would be phenomenal. What a step up from the Sears catalog.

I remember a couple of times sneaking a copy of Juggs into the bathroom. It was pretty terrifying, though because what if you get caught with this? It's hard to conceal a big magazine. So I only did it twice at the most.

I remember another time, around when I first got the internet, I printed off some stills from the film Showgirls. These weren't high-quality prints. It was from a crappy inkjet printer. But they were good because you could fold them into your pocket and peruse them in the bathroom at your leisure.

And think about it. My idea of porn at the time was the film Showgirls. I didn't have a concept of internet porn. If I was going to print stuff off, I should have just looked for normal big bust porn pictures. They existed. Could be hardcore, could be just women posing solo. But I thought that stills of Showgirls was the height of porn available on the internet.

So if you had a pocket-sized phone with dozens (or however many) of high quality pornographic videos, the possibilities are limitless.

But now I'm simply musing about the current realities. I don't even have porn on my phone. Why would I? I'm an adult and live by myself. I don't have to sneak into the bathroom to jerk off.

What if you took that 1996 copy of Juggs back to the year, say 1976? It would blow minds. They had pornographic magazines back then, of course, but I don't think that breast implants existed and certainly not to the extreme sizes that Juggs traded in. People would be shocked. Also, simply the production quality of the magazine is far superior to magazines from 1976.

So even a simple thing like a magazine, if you go back 20 years, it would be remarkable. And if you had that phone full of porn in 1976, it would be absolutely alien-level technology.

This is all discussed in one of the greatest films of all time: Terminator 2. I don't give a shit about the action but it's a really intelligent, well-written film. The T-800 gets crushed in the first film in the Cyberdyne Systems factory who then reverse engineer the surviving hand part to create Skynet. It's a circular time-traveling conundrum. The T-800 can only exist if Skynet exists but the T-800 is also what creates Skynet. So the original T-800 must have come from an alternate timeline where it was created by some means other than Skynet.

How many films spur the imagination like this? Here I am ruminating about what life would be like if you brought a 1990s porno magazine to the 1970s and it's all thanks to Terminator.



This young man gets it. Unfortunately, he's from a timeline where lights weren't invented.