(receives a phone call)

Virgin: Hi. This is Virgin Broadband. Can I ask you some security questions?

Baron: Okay.

(barely passes the test)

Virgin. Okay. I know that your account is now inactive but I'm calling because there's a shortfall in payment.

Baron: Yeah, I know.

Virgin: You made a payment two days ago of £140 but you still owe £2.57.

Baron: Really? I thought I left £10 as unpaid.

Virgin: No, it's £2.57.

Baron: Well, you need to send clearer bills then. I intentionally didn't pay that £10 late charge.

Virgin: Virgin charges £10 if you're late on a bill. It's just standard practice.

Baron: It may be standard practice with Virgin but there's no way that that's standard practice generally.

Virgin: It's the standard practice with Virgin. I'm sorry.

Baron: I agree with that but I'm telling you that it's not standard industry practice.

Virgin: I can't advise on what standard industry practice is.

Baron: I'm advising you. It's not standard industry practice.

Virgin: Well, it's Virgin's practice and we have to charge it. I can't just waive it.

Baron: Well, it's my practice not to pay late fees. And I don't know how I only owe £2.57. I should owe £10. You're sending nonsense bills.

Virgin: Okay. Let's just go through it.

(guy quotes a bunch of numbers)

Baron: I can't follow this. This isn't helping. Without the numbers in front of me, I have no idea what you're saying. I'm not a mathmetician.

Virgin: Okay, if you want to pull up the email we sent you, it would be a visual aid.

Baron: There's really no need. I'm not paying this £2.57. If you want it, you'll have to file a claim in the sheriff court for £2.57.

Virgin: All right. I'll put a note on your file that you're disputing the amount and what you've said here.

Baron: Okay, thanks.

Virgin: Thank you very much for your assistance.

Baron: Yeah, no problem. Bye.

Virgin: Bye.

If that guy was calling from a Virgin mobile, the call cost him well over £2.57. 30p/minute or something crazy. Fuck Virgin. I got rid of their broadband and their crazy expensive mobile. I was a mobile customer for over 10 years paying completely outrageous prices on their pay as you go plan and then they have the nerve to call me over £2.57. Suck a dick.