I'm so sorry about your friend. Having so much loss has taken a dramatic toll on you, I'm sure. I experienced a year where I lost my nephew, his mother, and then my mom and grandmother all within the same year, each several months apart. It was completely overwhelming. It's so important for you to care for yourself. I didn't. I let grief blot out any thought of self care and ended up terribly ill for a number of years after. By the time I had given up and accepted my fate of progressive disease and eventually succumbing to it, I found Cambridge (and I was actually searching to find something to save my 18 yr old daughter who was over 400 lbs) and began my road back to healing and restoring my health. You can do this.