As humans, we are always a work in progress. I don't think that ever ends. You'll get your focus back and resume losing. This is a twisty turney journey. But don't let it stress you out. It's a good learning opportunity. It's important that we pay attention to what our triggers are. What stressors override our better judgement. We all justify our decisions, but usually don't pay attention to the actual dialog in our head. Keep a justification journel and write them down. Then read them and ponder how ligitmate they are or not. It may be enough to bring you back from the edge.