So I booked a hotel for next week. When I looked earlier in the week there were loads in the £60 range so I thought this would be no problem. But then I looked today and there were only a few in this range and most of these looked like shit. Shared bathrooms and poor reviews.

So anyway, I went with a chain hotel and it worked out at £63/night so I don't really know what happened. I thought it would be more. The price seemed to suggest £90/day but I don't know. It's definitely £63/day.

Free wifi, own bathroom, that's all that I wanted. And it should have that. It says it does. What chain hotel has separate bathrooms and no wifi?

So I check in on Monday at 2.00 and check out on Friday at 11.00. That gives me a full five days to find a place because I can still call on Saturday to view a couple flats on Monday either before or after check in. And on Friday I can view places after I check out, just get a train that leaves at, say, 5.00.

So great. Five days to find a place. That should be enough. And this isn't costing much. £60/day is better than the £120 I would have to pay for a train ticket every day. And I only have a five hour window to view flats when I just come in for one day. I can view at my leisure now.

But what if I find a place on the first day? It says I can't cancel. Well, I can keep looking at flats in case the first place falls through. There's always an issue with being self-employed. I show them my bank statement that shows £20,000+ in the account and they're still nervous. I've also been doing the same job for six years, you inbreds. I've been renting in London for ten years and never been late with a payment once. It's ridiculous.

I mean, I can work at Subway and that would be considered less of a risk because it's full time. Of course, I don't think fast-food places do employ people full-time any more. But a similar low-paid, full-time job would be preferable to these buffoons than a professional self-employed job.

Anyway, even if I find a place straight away I can still take in the sights of Glasgow. What does TripAdvisor suggest?

Kelvingrove Art Gallery and Museum. Sure. Why not? Check out the taxidermied animals, fossils, painting, whatever.

University of Glasgow? Why is that number two on the list? Who are these people going to universities as a tourist attraction? Stunning architecture? If this is number two on the list, I don't hold out much hope for the rest. And that museum hardly looked amazing.

Rail tours? No way.

Glasgow School of Art? Not happening.

Glasgow Tigers Speedway? Some motorbike race track. I don't think so.

Glengoyne Distillery? I'm not a big drinker. And I don't really care how the stuff is made.

Aw this sucks. It all sucks. There's nothing to do.

Well, it's not like I was going to the art galleries and museums in London for fun. I've been to all of them but just as cheap date locations. Can just go to the fucking cinema or whatever. How much are cinema tickets in Glasgow? Cineworld charges between £8 and £9 depending on time. Can't really beat that.

I paid £30 for cinema tickets in Leicester Square. For one ticket. I swear that it's true. I've never seen ticket prices anywhere near that so I somewhat question this myself but I remember it was the Odeon (now closed, I think) and I was with 22 year old Sun-Yung to see the first Spider-Man with that little faggot in the starring role. She gave me her student ID but they didn't accept student IDs.

But yeah, even the nearby Prince Charles Cinema, an independent cinema, is like £9 now. It used to be maybe £5 if you went in the afternoon or weekday or something.

Are there independent cinemas in Glasgow? Yeah, Glasgow Film Theatre. Looks pretty decent. Mix of foreign, older, and maybe some art shit. £7/ticket, that's good stuff.

Also a lot of students in Glasgow so they like that sort of pseudo-intellectual shit. Can take the young ladies there. Impress them with my worldly nature. American, ten years living in London, that's some real pantie dropping stuff for these country bumpkins. So yeah, see how it goes with finding a flat and banging chicks and whatnot.