She's getting heart surgery, by the way. She had heart surgery like...20 years ago. But she's really unwell now. Even when I went to visit at Christmas like five years ago, she wasn't able to walk far and stuff like this. Then when she came to London it was worse. And then Finland.
Actually, I did try to call her shortly after I moved to Glasgow but she must have been out. And I tried to call on Friday because I thought I was going to lose my job but again, she must have been out. This was before I knew about the surgery but I thought, "This is what it's going to be like when she dies."
So do I regret not talking to her for like a year and a half? Well...not really. Watching your son masturbate while he's asleep is pretty gross. That's a boundary. And she has a history of this sort of thing. And she threw out or gave away or sold all of my childhood stuff. These are big things. It shows what kind of mother she was. Not a good one.
I called every week for the first 8.5 years of living abroad. The last year and a half...you know...it's pretty sick what she did. So...I think it's justifiable.
If she would have acknowledged what she did and apologised I would have talked to her. But I just got a denial "Whatever I did, I apologise" apology which made things worse.
It's a sad way to end things but it was never an amazing family. Have to look at what's going to happen to my stuff now. What's left of it, anyway. I suppose I'll have to go there and pick out the gems. Have it shipped over. Comic book collection is going to be expensive and take a lot of space but...suppose it has to be done even though they're not worth anything.
Anyway, I emailed her wishing her luck with the surgery and said I hope it goes well.