I've never done a retrospective because I don't live in the past. The future is my mistress. But here it is the first day of 2016 as per the Gregorian calendar and I've already had the best poop of 2016.

As mentioned previously, I've changed my diet to one of chicken, rice, nuts, and fruit. I also had some pasta, a hamburger patty, and a couple Snickers.

I hadn't taken a crap in quite some time. A week maybe. I kept wondering, "When am I going to take a crap?" and "Why haven't I taken a crap yet?" It wasn't yet to the "Maybe I should see a doctor" stage but we were getting there.

Today was the day. Sit down and immediately big log coming out. Didn't seem like a huge amount. Then it stopped for a bit and then a small secondary log came out. So no big deal. Pretty big but nothing worth posting on a forum about.

Then I stood up and turned around. Holy shit. It was well into the waste pipe and then bent at a near 90 degree angle for another three or four inches. I don't know how far into the pipe it went but the part that I could see was all thick so it must have been pretty far in there. I don't know where the stoppage is for this pipe but it's probably pretty far back there.

Pride sooned to panic. "No way is this thing going to flush." But with reckless abandon, I flushed anyway. The water cleared and this three or four inches of turd was still sticking out. I started thinking about things I'd have to put in there to break this giant log up. My toilet brush, a knife, what? And it's gross so I considered where I'd be able to vomit because you can't vomit in a clogged toilet as that only compounds the problem.

I flushed again and mercifully it went down.

I'm tagging this conservatively as a 12+ incher. Probably the second biggest crap of my life. And the biggest that wasn't pharmaceutically-assisted. All natural dung.

I think I'm going to stick with the diet, though. Not religiously but more or less. It's probably healthier than what I've been eating and it's easy to shop for and cook. I've figured out how to get the rice cooked. Just check it every ten minutes and keep adding water until it's soft. I might add crisps in, though. These pistachios are okay but a disappointing substitute.

I've taken a break from the working out already. I think I overdid it with my left arm. I was trying to do 300 reps a day but could only do 210 yesterday. And that was a real struggle. So my left arm still hurts. Not as bad as it did so it's getting better but I'm going to wait until it's healed. Maybe go down in weight when I start it up again. I didn't think that 15kg and 300 reps was too much but apparently it is.