It took me a good week before I was able to go back to work when I last had the flu.

But speaking of unfunny comedians, The Last Leg is on Channel 4. I forgot how bad Channel 4 is. These panel "comedy" shows. Who watches them?

I'll tell you who appreciates them: Americans. I guess they're watching this sort of shit on BBC America or on the internet or wherever. You see them on the forums talking about what sophisticated British humour this is.

It's all scripted bullshit and not the slightest bit funny.

It's like some reviews I read on Yelp about a recently opened Pret in New York City. Some pretentious goofball was saying how much better the sandwiches were in London's Pret locations when she last went there on vacation. "The sandwiches were so exquisite! Prawn! Cucumber! Cheddar and pickle! Such sophisticated tastes in England! But in New York it's just boring old ham and turkey."

There's two issues here. First, Pret isn't exactly a gourmet sandwich eaterie. Yes, the sandwiches are overpriced but they're still considered a place to get fairly cheap food. Second, the reason that Pret doesn't sell prawn sandwiches and the like in the US is because NOBODY WOULD EAT THEM. I can't even believe that people in England eat that shit.

I wonder if there are Prets in Scotland. I never saw any. Oh right. There's two in Glasgow and one in Edinburgh. But otherwise, Pret-free. Another advantage that Scotland has over England then. London had a Pret on every street.

Speaking of London, I sometimes get asked if there's anything I miss about it. Not a single thing.

As for Wings, there was a brief period when I was taking tae kwon do classes and was driven there by a neighbour. She would always play a tape that had "Let 'Em In" on it. What a pile of shit that was. And the lyrics are pure garbage. It's like something a child might write.

It's the musical equivalent of going to a modern art gallery and overhearing the inevitable, "My five year old daughter can do that."

I think that tape also had Wake Me Up Before You Go Go on it. So what was the connection? Best of 70s/80s British Crap, I guess. What a weird tape theme, though. My neighbour's young son thought "go go" was "cocoa".

What's he up to these days? I found him on Youtube recently. Lives in Texas last I saw. With his parasite fat mama. Yeah. Still lives in Texas probably with his fat mama. And posts a lot of sexual stuff on his Facebook. Not like, "I just scored with a lady" stuff but more like, "Here's a picture of a lady I'd like to have sex with." It's sad, really.

I mean really. Find a fat chick and have sex with her. You're not going to get these large-buttocked, thin waisted young ladies whose photos you're posting. Jennifer Aniston probably isn't interested either.

Where was I? That's a pretty good post. Covered a lot of ground. Channel 4 is crap and there's nothing to watch on tv any more. That whole Pret example. That Wings song from my youth. Facebook stalking.

I mean, sure, I've talked about every single one of these things in depth before. But never all in the same post. That's what makes this special. It's a collection.

Ooh, and poo. I took a dump a couple days ago in the morning. Pretty bad. Underpants ended up sticking to my buttocks. Don't think I wiped sufficiently because I was in a rush. I took this crap like 15 minutes before I had to leave for work. Then at work, I noticed perhaps a slight odour when standing up. But I thought, "Mmm...that's probably somebody else who smells bad."

But then today, took another crap in the morning. Go to work and definitely when I stood up, the stench of faeces was obvious. You sit down and don't smell anything but stand up and the odour comes out.

I've learned that people are pretty tolerant to those who smell like shit. People still talked to me, made small talk, they sat next to me on the train even though it wasn't that busy. You know. They ignored it. "This guy smells like he just took a huge dump this morning and didn't wipe sufficiently but...he's still a human being and deserves respect."

I like that. It's a very enlightened attitude. I think it's true that Scottish people are more friendly than the English. Maybe they're just more tolerant of the smell of shit. Or maybe they didn't smell it but I find that hard to believe.