Oh man, dropped a great load of diarrhea. Started off with what seemed like a constipated log but with each movement it became more and more watery. Great stuff.

Speaking of great stuff, huge titties on this solicitor at work today. Very pale woman, plain face, but an F cup easy. And she's slim. It's mental. There's something special about a not-particularly-attractive woman with enormous tits. Makes her seem more obtainable. Not that she'd ever agree to go bowling with me or anything.

I'll tell you who might go bowling, though: some other solicitor from a couple weeks ago. I was in the back of the court minding my own business when I looked around the room and when I caught this woman's eyes she smiled at me. I thought it was just a coincidence.

But then a while later, I again look in her direction and she smiles at me again. So I smile back.

Then later, I'm in the hallway waiting for my case to start and some older female solicitor asks me if I've seen this woman. She just gave her name. I said, "I don't know who that is" and she said "okay" and went off to find her.

I think this older solicitor was in the same firm as this younger solicitor who smiled at me or she was offering her a job or something. Because later, the two of them were talking to me and I overheard the younger one profusely thanking the older one. So yeah, that's the other part of the story. This woman was talking with me later. Well, actually, it was just the older woman talking to me but the younger woman was with her.

So why didn't I say, "Hey, baby. Let's go to Burger King some time"? Because it's a small community and you see these people again and even if you don't, they gossip. So I don't want to be the subject of the, "You know that lame bald guy who I suspect has autism? He asked Nancy out on a date! I know! It's so hilarious!" story.

I think I'm going to ask for more money soon. I'm biding my time. Going to start doing more work for this other company. And hopefully, I can get something going in the Middle East. I emailed the woman who owns the place a week ago giving her an update on my attempt to fix my sound recording issues with my laptop and saying that I'm ready for work and she replied in a favourable fashion saying she'll put me down as available for work. But this guy who used to email me jobs every week hasn't emailed me in about a month. Maybe it's a case of him not knowing that I'm available.

But anyway, if I can get some more work elsewhere, substantial work, I can say to this woman that I don't want to be paid by the hour any more. Just give me the £110/day. That's the top rate she pays for 7 hours a day. I get £100/day from this other company so she must be able to afford it. I'm sure that they're charging the clients at least twice that.

It's a bit ridiculous getting £60/day for these minimum days. It's insulting, actually. £60 for a professional job. So if I can get this going, I'll effectively double my salary.

I mean, think about that. Going to your boss and saying, "I want a 100% raise." But I'll do it and more importantly, I'll get it. Because they're desperate for people, they can easily afford it, and I won't need the job.

What else? I didn't plan on talking about work. Or this amazing top-heavy law-talking-person.

Listening to a new Tom Green podcast. Not watching tv, of course. He's absolutely shit. Talking about getting his parents on the show. That's actually supposed to excite the listeners. "I'm going to try to get my parents on the show!"