Wow, what a crap. "Explosive diarrhea" barely describes it. This was more than a mere explosion.

What could have caused it? I had a hot pepper Papa John's pizza but when was that...last week, that would have been Tuesday through to Thursday. Usually, it takes effect more or less immediately. My craps around that time were sometimes a bit loose but not anything like this.

Did I eat anything else? I ate a moderately spicy Tesco pizza today. That wouldn't account for this, surely. Been eating some sausage sandwiches for the past few days. Those aren't spicy.

So I don't know. With that hot pepper Papa John's pizza, if you eat it on a Tuesday, you're crapping big time diarrhea on a Wednesday. But that didn't really happen this time. Maybe...well, it can't be that much of a delayed reaction because I've defecated at least twice between Thursday and today.

I need to go back to my Twitter defecating log.

Speaking of Twitter, let's see what S Hawes is up to. I haven't done this in a while. Hmm...maybe he closed his page. It was one of the worst things I've ever read. Militant lesbian politics and the latest news about his offspring. Well, there's still his wife's Twitter.

https://twitter.com/dontwakebaby

It's exactly what one would expect.

I mean, it's important to spend time with your children and take an interest in what they're doing, but I don't give two shits about this. Does anyone?

"Your surname doesn't match your child's? Good luck at border patrol!"

I'm surprised that S Hawes didn't take her name. He's clearly the woman in this relationship.

Four year old in bed without a nappy for the first time? Are four year olds still crapping their pants? I guess? I don't know. It seemed old to me but I guess that's right. But who cares? I don't want to know about your child's bowel problems. I have my own bowel problems.

At least she's not posting pictures of the kids. So congratulations on that.

I bet Sleepyflower is, though. Of his children, not S Hawes'.

No. He's advertising a fizzy beverage. Oh, here are the pictures of his child.

More bullshit scam contests. When will he learn?

Where is he anyway? Oh yeah. Taiwan. He gives his Linkedin page too.

He's been there for six years. The time has flown by. Taught English for five years. What a terrible ordeal that must have been. Now he's a "technical writer". I have no idea how that can be a full-time job.

When he was in London, he did computer shit. Why doesn't he do computer shit there?