By contrast, my friend's mother regularly stood up for him and denigrated me.

In the 7th or 8th grade, we had to do a poster for history class. It was to be a mock up of a newspaper from Revolutionary War times. You write little articles about shit that happened back then.

"Can we do illustrations?"

"No."

Actually, we could. Indeed, I think it was required.

Anyway, we went to the school library a few times and maybe even the public library once but I just messed about and my friend did all the work. That's how these group projects usually work. He was a good sport about it, though.

But I didn't want to do absolutely nothing so I did the comic. It was something about time-travel. Even as a kid, I must have enjoyed time-traveling. It was some sort of take off of the Terminator. I remember a vortex that somebody went through to go back in time, presumably to the 1775 to 1783 period. I don't remember the plot, sadly.

So it's time to turn in the assignment. My friend covered up my comic with an article. Reluctantly said that his mother made him do it.

Another time, we had to do a project for music class. I know I've told this story before. Probably told the history one before too. Anyway, we had all these elaborate plans to do a stop motion GI Joe music video (because I didn't want to appear on camera) but, of course, that didn't happen. We just didn't do the assignment and got a 0 in the class. Not an F. A 0%.

I remember our bitch homeroom teacher saying, "I don't know how some of you got zeroes in music" while handing out the report cards. Well, yeah, I don't know either. We did other stuff that term and I didn't get 0's on those so it's not mathematically possible for me to get a 0 in the class. This music teacher was just a fat, unqualified, redneck mother with two kids in the school so she thought she could do whatever she wants. "I don't have to add up the grades of these kids, I'll just give them zeroes because they didn't do the big music video project."

It had absolutely no effect on my life.

Let's see what her precious offspring are doing. Well, the one who was my age and appeared in a local Texas Chuck E Cheese commercial just posted pictures of his two kids back in 2014. So that's what he managed to do. Procreate.

His younger brother, just posted pictures of his four kids and his homely wife. One picture is in a church so holy rollers. So that's all he's managed to do too. So much for these child prodigies.

This homely wife...wow, this is pretty screwed up. She recently "opened" an online store selling "faith-inspired designs." She says that God told her that the time was right to "open" this online store. I'm not even joking.

So what's a "faith inspired design"? Well, from what I can tell from this online store, felt rosaries. That's it. Every item is a felt rosary. Some wooden ones, in fairness.

God told her to do this? God must be the world's worst businessman. Or he's playing a practical joke. This woman is not going to make a penny off of these rosaries, nor should she. It's sacrilegious. Rosaries aren't a fashion statement.

It seems that she lives in Ohio. So...I'll give this guy credit for getting out of the ghetto. Although...not too far. How far is Ohio from our childhood ghetto...300 miles. A five hour drive. That might seem far by British standards but not American ones.

"People are always saying how small England is but you couldn't fit it all in here. Not by a long shot."

This older brother's wife is some kind of nurse so he hardly hit the jackpot with that. She's not a looker either. Seems that they live in Washington state so that's something at least.

A lot of Jesus nut stuff here too.

These guys also had an older sister. She's a dude now. I don't know if it's official but, well, I'll say this: this is not a heterosexual woman. She must be in her early 40s and she's a student not far from the ghetto. Single, no children. She may have a life partner but, not pictured.

What must her Jesus nut brothers and parents have to say about that? Wait...it says she graduated high school in 2006. This must be a younger sister. But the fact remains that this is a man or a militant lesbian. There's no doubt about it. This woman makes Wymark's sister look almost feminine.