I was living in olden times, like the early 1800s. Living on the American frontier. And we had to move a bunch of gravel by wheelbarrow. So I had my wheelbarrow and I had my shovel but every time I got near the pile of gravel, other guys would push me out of the way and get the gravel themselves.

This began to annoy me because I wanted to do my part. But people just kept saying, "you're green." I didn't know what this meant.

There were some other chores that required manual labour, cutting wood, or something, I don't remember, and it was the same result.

Then I get a couple of cheques. They look really suspicious so I show them to the mayor and he confirms that the cheques are real. I get the idea that this is all some sort of scam by Scientology to make people feel superior give them money, don't make them work, but ultimately they're going to want between 10% and 100% of your income.

So I'm freaking out about this but I'm also angry. I go to the parson and tell him that I want to work and I don't want these cheques. He agrees and says that he'll take me to my mother to help.

We go to some foreboding building and when the parson sees my mother he's terrified. She starts screaming at him that I'm not allowed to work. Then she takes her clothes off and it turns out that she's green and has huge tits and looks great, quite unlike my actual mother. And to really drive the point home, she puts a pointy witch hat on. She gets into a bath and invites me to join her but I decline. Then I hear chants of "you're green".

In other news, the electricity shut off unexpectedly today. I was in the bathroom, turned the lights on, was about to drop an emergency Indian food-fueled load and the lights turn off. What great timing.

So I pulled my pants up, really resisted the urge to defecate, got all of my stuff to go out, and went to top up the meter.

This is exactly why I don't want this poverty meter. I think I'm going to look for a new flat in the new year. The landlord is also an asshole who doesn't fix problems.