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    A view not from the Bridge: Smackheads a-go-go Archived Message

    Posted by Keith-264 on September 10, 2020, 11:15 am


    Early to bed on Tuesday night ready to be up at 4:00 a.m. to bike to work. Next thing I know, The Babe was shouting my name and that there was a man on the stairs! I assumed she'd woken from a nightmare but she kept shouting so I jumped out of bed and looked around the door...there was a man on the stairs! Even I could see that without my glasses on. He was bare-chested and waved something at me through the balustrades.

    I grabbed the bathrobe off the hook on the door and decided that if he stepped up another tread I would let go of the robe and scare him to death. The intruder seemed to realise he was at the wrong address and went downstairs apologetically. I nipped back into the room to get my glasses on as The Babe hustled him out of the front door. I put the robe on and headed downstairs as the bloke decided to get back in from the porch, at which The Babe kept the door shut and hurled invective at him as he claimed he had a tenancy agreement! "I've got the fcucking title deeds you mad bastard, fcuck off or I'll fcucking kill you!" says she as I try to shush her and point out that the filth can hear her....

    I could see through the glass that he was as weedy as I'd thought and swapped places with The Babe and kept the door shut. It turned out that the keys were in her handbag and the chain had come off.* The porkies were around in a few minutes and greeted him by name, obviously one of their regulars. They coaxed him out of the Grove into their motor, then came back about fifteen minutes later and said they'd given him a lift home. Were we all right? I was but The Babe was a bit shocked at how brave she'd been.

    I thought she'd been bloody marvellous so when I got home, I took her out to a restaurant on Cottingham Road (Meze, Turkish and eastern Med/Middle Eastern cuisine, excellent). I was so knackered from lack of sleep and doing 12 hours at the bridge, that when she got me to unzip her boots afterwards, I put Nancy Sinatra on and flaked out on the settee before the song finished.

    I gave a blood sample at the GPs this morning and anticipate that they'll want me in for a stiff talking to about red wine and protein. ;O)

    * The chain has a lock on the jamb side so you can unlock it from the outside or lock it as you leave. I'd got a taxi to work on Tuesday morning (bloody alarm clock) and in the dark, managed to put the wedge in, back to front, hence it springing out when the head from barged in.

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