Another example of her inner turmoil is she would say things like, "Get your webcam on. Not for that. I just want to see you."

So I'd put the webcam on. "I like your shirt" and so on.

Few minutes later.

"So. Is it hot in Chicago? I bet it's hot. Are you hot at all?"

"No, lisa. It doesn't get hot here in September. But if you'd like to see me masturbate, you just have to ask."

"Only if you want to."

When not naked, she would always try to make out like I was some pervert foisting myself on her when in fact, from the start it was done at her instigation.

So I remember one time when she was hurling abuse at me over this I wanted to get it nailed down who was suggesting this webcam masturbationg. So I turned my webcam on and I just sat there fully clothed chatting with her. She asked, "Are you going to get your cock out?" and I said, "Of course not. You were just complaining about this ten minutes ago."

We talked for a few more minutes and she said, "Okay, how about now?" I said, "If you want to see my cock, just say so." She said, "I don't want to see your cock." So I said, "Okay" and carried on trying to talk to her.

Few minutes later she again suggested that I take my clothes off. I said, "You have to say 'I want to see your cock'". She said, "I'm not saying that." I said that's fine.

So she started saying, "You're not horny?", "Are you hard?" What are you looking at?" (suggesting that I'm looking at porn. I repeated what she has to say. So finally she said, "I want to see your cock." I obliged and she was happy with the results.

Another example of her mentality that this is all a big joke is that when I called her in London she said that I sounded different. She suggested that I was a different person. Lower voice, different accent. I intentionally lowered my voice to sound more manly and the accent changed from living in London. But she thought there was some big conspiracy out there to trick her into thinking that somebody wants to have sex with her.

There's some mental disorder that fits with this where you think you're like on a reality tv show and everyone's monitoring you and it's all a big joke at your expense but I don't know what it is.