That's no mere restauranteur. That's Big Poppa Pump. Maybe it was before Dante's time.

Man, I'm tired. Dare I sleep at 7.45, though? I have to wake up at 7.45. That will be 12 hours of sleep.

I should at least wait until my clothes are done being washed. Hopefully won't be long now. It's in the drying phase.

I think in the US, it's still common for rented accomodation not to have clothes washers or dryers. Can you believe that shit? You either have to buy and install large appliances or use the laundromat.

But that's nothing. I read that in Germany you have to buy an entire kitchen. There's no sink, no stove, no cupboards, no shelves, nothing. You have to buy and install all of this shit yourself. And when you move out, you take all this shit with you. Even the fitted shelving that won't ever be of any use to you because it's all sized for that particular kitchen.

Been watching BBC Breakast. It's just Olympics coverage. No other news. I'm going to switch over to ITV for the duration of the Olympics.

I mean really, are there people who are interested in the Olympics? I never hear anybody talking about them. Also, the phrase "team GB" really grates on me.

It's just mindless jingoism but the athletes themselves aren't doing it for "their" country. They're doing it for the glorification of themselves. If they're really good, and in a popular sport, and photogenic, they'll get endoresement deals. But even aside from that, they're doing it because they're vain and want to be better than other people.

I mean, put all that training time into something beneficial for society. Research a cure for cancer.

Let's check Tinder out. I haven't had a match in over a week (some Chinese woman who I never messaged and lives in London anyway). I've decided to broaden my search to 18-55+. And I'm just going to swipe everybody. Fatties, the painfully unattractive, old women, single mothers, the unemployed, everyone. Let's see the results...

Alright, well. Got a match. That's the good news. And she's real. I think. Real people have their education and/or job listed. Bots don't.

Bad news: there's no picture of her. There's a picture of her kissing a horse but it's mostly the horse in the photo. Second photo is a drawing of Miss Piggy. Also bad: 45 years old.

I wonder why kind of name this is. Very unusual. Google isn't much help. Maybe German. Or Greek. Or Indian.

Anyway, I'm not messaging this woman. But here's the crazy thing: she wouldn't respond anyway. Indeed, she very well may unmatch me as soon as she sees that we're matched.

Oh. Here's her Facebook. I think it's just a Scottish woman. A lot of horse pictures. And dog pictures. And I kind of understand why she didn't post a picture of herself but...she's 45. I'm just going to unmatch her.

At least I know it works. I haven't been banned. People just aren't interested.

Got a nice email from my lady friend, though. She thanked me for making the trip a special one and said that I have good organising skills. Then she said that she "peaked at her emails" upon returning to work which made my heart sink. Do I want to hitch my wagon to a woman who doesn't know the difference between "peek" and "peak"? She didn't mention anything about moving in anyway. But unusually friendly email.