I just finished a great game of Team Fortress 2, leading my team to three straight victories against the evil forces of the Blu Team, when suddenly a feeling of dread washed over me. "It's 7.30. I only have a few more hours left and then I'll have to go to sleep. Have to go to work tomorrow." But then I remembered, "NO WORK TOMORROW!"

I didn't work today either for that matter. It's the greatest feeling there is. Like the last day of school. You know you never have to go back.

So what was I dreading? I don't have anything to do tomorrow. Just two short phone calls. I can manage that.

I worked Wednesday, though. Monday and Tuesday but Wednesday was the money day. Worked directly for the solicitors. Some overweight, big-titted woman in a crazy short skirt that she kept pulling down. I'm not sure if I've ever seen a more sexily-dressed overweight woman. And this was in a court. And she was the solicitor.

But whatever. I nailed that job. Had to read back two questions. Normally, you don't read back anything. And when I am asked to read back, I either don't have it and expose the profession for being useless or I'm not confident that I got it right so read back with hesitation.

Not this day. I had had every word down for that chubby ginger woman down and I knew it. Read back with confidence. Everyone was impressed. The judge gave me a thumbs up and then I fist bumped the witness and then I fucked that rubenesque #### lawyer right there in the court to a chorus of cheers.

No, but the judge did said "thank you" and was clearly impressed (it was a long passage). Then this solicitor asked me to read something else back and I did, again it was 100% right, and no problem. During lunch, the opposing solicitor congratulated me.

So yeah. I'm awesome. £225 well earned.

And I got an email yesterday about a job which will require a transcript. It's the evidence of some kid. It'll take place in his house. Weird. I don't know if it will go ahead but yeah. If that's a full day, which it very well may not be...I mean...they're not going to ask a kid six hours of questions...but if it were...I'm looking at a cool £1000 for the appearance and transcript. How awesome is that?

And I know it's taking place in his house just to try to make this kid feel more comfortable. But will it? I wouldn't want people in my house asking me questions. I'd rather go out. Doesn't have to be a court. These things are also done in solicitors' offices. I think that would be better.

This is the second day in a row that I'm hearing muffled yelling. I think it's coming from upstairs. It goes on for quite a while. Reminds me of that scumbag black guy who yelled at his dumbass white wife literally 16 hours a day, all day, several days in a row. I mean, just non-stop yelling all day. I can't believe that he could have that much to say. There was a lot of repetition. Black people seem to do that when they argue. They just find a catchphrase and stick with it. It's a sign of low intelligence. Kids do that too.

How can anyone be that angry, though? I don't mean this asshole who yelled all day every day. He clearly had mental health problems, as did his wife. But I mean this asshole upstairs.

Take my ladyfriend, for example. She can be annoying and I annoy her too. But I couldn't imagine yelling for two hours.

"Hey, I think you're kind of a dumbass, and you watch stupid tv shows, and you eat too much, and I don't like some of the comments you make, and..." I'm already out of stuff to yell about. That's 30 seconds of material.

Did I mention the email where my ladyfriend talks about how good I am to her? That was nice of her.