I think I diagnosed this anal bleeding. Internal hemorrhoids.

Internal hemorrhoids are usually present with painless, bright red rectal bleeding when defecating

That's it exactly. Wikipedia also says that it's most common among the wealthy. On the other hand, they say 50-66% of people experience hemorrhoids at some point in their lives. Seems a contradiction. 45 to 65 are the typical ages affected. I'm a bit younger than that but I must have an old anus. It's a result of constipation. Yeah. I've had some difficult movements in my life. No treatment usually required. They recommend more fibre in your diet.

Whatever you do, do not go to the Wikipedia article. I only read the intro and then quickly skimmed the rest of the article and saw horrible things. I didn't even want to see the healthy anus.

It reminds me of a school administrator I had in high school. We called him Hemorrhoids due to his unusual gait. Let's see if I can't find that scumbag. Hopefully, he's long dead.

In the yearbook photo, he actually looks a bit younger than I am currently. Weird. He seemed like an old man at the time.

He has a rather unusual name but the only results I'm getting are for a much younger man. Might be his son. Slightly ironically, this possible son sells medical equipment for the spine. This administrator could have used some of that. Also, this possible son is from the area I grew up in so it's a good possibility that it is his son. He looks gay. Four years younger than me.

There's a Twitter account in the same name, it references school and the picture is of an old man, but I think it might be a parody account set up by a disgruntled student. Only three tweets. One is about drug use. Last tweet in 2012.

Anyway, to bring this back to the buttocks, this guy was a real asshole. He treated me like some sort of troublemaker even though I was the most well-behaved child ever to set foot in that school. For example, I was late to school once because the bus was late and I was found wandering the hall waiting for the second period to start. I was brought to the principal's office and he gave me a "tardy slip" and said, "Fill this out. Get used to it because you'll probably get a lot more of these."

And then he kept taunting me for having long hair. He'd yell in the hallway, "Hey, you with the long hair. You need to get a haircut."

This guy was the "dean of boys". I don't know what that means and I'm surprised that such a title existed at the school. That's the sort of title one expects at Eton.

Anyway, I was never late agin. Not because I was "scared straight" by this faggot but because I've always been punctual and have remained punctual to this day. And I never returned to the principal's office, again, not because of this douchebag but because I never misbehaved. I also never got a haircut while at that school so fuck that guy.

I left mid-way through the 10th grade because my grades were poor. That's what the "dean of boys" should have been focusing on: helping students who are doing poorly in their coursework.

All I needed to do was get organised. I had the intellect. I passed all of my non-mathematical exams. The only reason I failed classes was because I didn't do homework. I didn't do homework because I'd forget about it. I'd forget about it because I wouldn't write it down.

So all I had to be told was, "Hey...I notice that you don't use your little homework schedule notepad. You need to start using that. Use it write down assignments and when they're due." It's that simple.

For math, I don't know, I guess I needed to study. That would require learning how to study. I'd never had to do it before.

You know who else could have helped with all of this: parents. Unfortunately, I had a real dud.

What could I have achieved with some proper guidance? I don't know. I'm pretty content with what I'm doing, actually. So I guess it all worked out.