I'll tell you, that Dubai story is paying off on Tinder. First of all, this 18 year old who didn't reply is real. Still didn't reply, though.

But it's more than that. Also matched with Samina. She's a chubby Middle Eastern or South Asian 24 year old. I also matched with her the last time I was using Tinder. Never messaged her, though.

And here's 25 year old white Caitlin from Edinburgh. Works some kind of admin job, I guess, in a law firm.

Michelle is undoubtedly fake. No profile and model-quality photos.

But the biggest indicator that this shit is working is the 24 year old Muslim I "super liked" who actually messaged me first. Something about Dubai. The app erased the message before I could see it fully. Or maybe she did. Oh wait. I rebooted. Here it is. Yeah, she asks if I go to Dubai for work.

I mean, that's conclusive proof that the profile is working. The pictures are the same. It's the reference to going to Dubai which brings the ladies.

Gold-diggers, yes. But there's no gold to dig. I don't even go to Dubai. So what do I care?

Although, it raises an interesting issue. Maybe they just think it's cool to have a job where you can travel to Dubai on a regular basis. I mean, I guess it is. If you're working at Subway, you're not going to Dubai. Office administrators aren't going to Dubai.

And it's only untrue in the practical sense. Theoretically, I do have a job where I go to Dubai regularly. Let me pull up some emails for you.

Dubai Arbitration
9/7/14
You want to go to Dubai from 21 to 24 September?

And I have six others in the same vein, as recently as last November. I got four in the space of two weeks. And those were just for assistant jobs. I told them a few days that I'd be willing to do the main work. So I should be getting more job offers.

But even if I don't get any work, if I want to fool these Tinder matches, I can just set my GPS to Dubai and it will show me as being thousands of miles away. "Hey, I'm in Dubai. It's awesome. Let's get some coffee when I get back." Then turn the spoof GPS app off. It's genius.

Anyway, I won't meet any of these people but I always like these sort of profiles that this Muslim girl has. Says that she's seeking a "cinema buddy". It's a very basic, innocent request. I've seen profiles that say that they're just looking for somebody to talk to and hang out with. Stuff like this. I can identify. These are just lonely people looking for friends. It's not about sucking penises and big titties and whatever. Not that I would turn that down but yeah, just somebody to hang out with, that would be kind of cool.