I've been doing some work for some cretins. I sent them an invoice for a cancellation fee. Two days for £200 and since the bills are split between the two firms, their half was £100 for the two days.

So I get an email. "I thought that the cancellation fee was £50/day".

Well, it is and it isn't. It's £100 but since the bills are split, your half is £50. This is all represented on the invoice.

Then I did another job for them. "You've claimed for four hours of work but as you'll recall, you were able to leave by 10.30. Can you explain this?"

Of course I can. I charged you the statutory minimum fee which works out to four hours of work. It's about £150, by the way.

What universe must this woman be living in? She expected me to get dressed, go to a job, and get paid for 1 hour of work (about £40). And if the cancellation fee, where I don't work at all, is £100/day why would me showing up be worth £40?

Even when I was working in the court in London, for a miserly company, ten years ago, I still got £80/day whether I worked one minute or eight hours. And that company I was working for surely got at least three times what they were paying me.

When I worked doing those medical cases, I got £130/day. Doesn't matter how long I work or if I work at all. If I'm showing up to the job ready to work, I'm getting paid £130. And again, if I was getting £130 through a company, the company was getting three times that from the client.

These jobs in Dubai, even if I'm at home in my underpants working remotely, pay £200/day minimum no matter how little I work. That's also for a company. So again, the company is getting at least £600/day from the client. Also, that's not even a skilled job that I'm doing for this woman in Dubai. And yet, it has the highest minimum fee of any job that I've ever done.

This woman wants me to work for £40/day. You think she's working for £40/day? She doesn't scratch her ass for £40.

How clueless do you have to be? Let's check Gumtree for what sort of local jobs pay anywhere near £40/day.

Wow. I don't think people are using Gumtree for work any more. There's not much here.

I'll be damned. Here's one. Receptionist for lunch time cover. £7-8/hour. From 11 am to 1 pm. Must also be able to increase for the full time receptionists who are off sick or on holiday.

So they want you to come in every day, work for two hours, and go home. And for this, they'll pay you £14. You really have to live nearby for this job. Take the subway and you're already down £2 or whatever it is. That's 1/7 of your income on travel expenses.

Most of the rest of these seem to be scams. Even in the "teaching" section, these are all scams.

Anyway, paying somebody to work 1 hour a day is exploitive garbage. It's not the way that my industry operates.