I don't know what a "derby" is in this sense. Some "football" thing I guess. So good for you. That's always exciting. Fast kicking. Low scoring. And ties? You bet!

English hooligans sure do enjoy that stuff. It's one of the mysteries of the universe. Why would anybody want to watch millionaire illiterates in short pants chasing after a ball? I can see the homoeroticism in it but not the entertainment.

When I was a kid, I thought, "Well, I get it. People support the Chicago team over the New York team because people in Chicago are better."

But then I discovered that the teams aren't comprised of natives of the relevant cities. Indeed, they have many players who aren't even Americans. Furthermore, they might have ZERO players from Chicago who are playing on the Chicago team, for example.

That's when I gave up trying to understand. Why cheer this random assortment of millionaire illiterates? I won't even get into how aggressively dull the games themselves are.

As for cousins, I don't even consider them family. I suppose that's because my cousins all live abroad and always have. Having cousins who live nearby seems odd to me.

But I spoke to my cousin in Finland and told him that I'd be visiting with my lady friend. He said we should all meet up. So that will be nice.

When I told my lady friend, she said, "Have you told him my...complexion?" I said no but he's not a Nazi.

She's hesitant to travel because she think she'll get racial abuse. It was the same with Scotland. She didn't want to come here because she thought she'd get abuse. But she didn't. People were friendly. And she later acknowledged that she was pleasantly surprised by it all.

I was surprised myself. I thought there might be some problems. But no, there was nothing.

Finland might be a tougher test. But I think about what my own reaction would be. Even if I really didn't like black people, I'm not going to start shouting abuse. And the Finnish people tend to be among the most reserved of our races. So with the possible exception of alcohol-fueled abuse, I don't expect any problems.

Indeed, when you think about it, the only time my lady friend and I ever encountered so much as a nasty look was from a black man. So that's really where the problems lie.