I remember in the 12th grade, some yearbook people came to our class and said, "Does anyone know how to use the internet?" The two biggest nerds in the class raised their hands. So the girl picked one of the nerds to accompany her to, I guess, some kind of "computer lab". I'm not even sure if that school had a computer lab. But she took him to a computer at least.

He came back a few minutes later. The nerd who didn't go said, "Do they have the internet here now?" To which the other nerd said, "No. The computers don't even have modems."

This is back when modems were a thing. But yeah, people didn't know how the internet worked back then. They didn't know that you need an account with an internet service provider. They thought that it was something that you can just "hack" into. Like in that film Wargames or whatever.

How much different would my life have been without the internet? Like let's say a parallel universe where the internet wasn't invented.

I'd be playing a lot more single-player computer games, that's for sure. There would be no market for online multiplayer games. So every game would need a strong single-player mode. The only multi-player games would be...whatever it's called...hot seat. Where two people are in front of the same screen.

There aren't nearly as many single player games today as there were back before the internet took off. So yeah, that's one change.

I wouldn't have moved to the UK because I wouldn't have known that I was eligible for citizenship in an EU country. Also, I wouldn't have got to know all of these wonderful Manics fans. Not that I think that influenced my decision to come to the UK. After all, my first preference was Ireland. There was nobody in Ireland who I spoke to from these Manics sites.

So yeah, I'd definitely be in the US. Playing single player computer games. Doing some crappy job that I found in the newspaper. Maybe in a casino. I'd be watching more television.

Dating-wise, I don't know. I might have got something going with someone. Or I might not. But even with the internet I haven't really managed anything so that's a wash.

Life was kind of boring. Playing single player computer games and watching tv. Is life much more exciting with the internet, though?

I suppose it's an outlet to talk about things that you wouldn't talk about with anyone in person. That dentist story, for example. I couldn't even tell that story to my ladyfriend. Too embarassing. I don't want her to know that I have bad teeth. Although, I did tell her about how I was really depressed and stopped taking care of myself like 20 years ago and it caused my teeth to get all messed up and she was okay with that. So she's an understanding sort of person.

Poo stores are a good way to use the medium too. Although, I don't really feel the need to tell these stories. No great weight is lifted from my shoulders after I talk about some giant bowel movement that I just took. This is just stuff to talk about when I don't have anything else to say, really.