####ing message got deleted because I accidentally hit control and "w".

Anyway, I was looking on Zoopla and it turns out that the highest one bedroom properties there are like £700 a month. And there's only a handful at that price.

And I thought, "What's the point of this?" Because even if the job works out and I'm making the same amount there as I did in London, I'd still be living in squalor. There aren't high quality properties.

But then I checked out the properties in Hammond and saw that there's only a handful of properties there and they too are all low range. So it dawned on me that people with money either buy or they rent in wealthier nearby areas (Chicago for Hammond, Edinburgh or maybe there's a wealthy suburb around Glasgow).

Now, with that ten paragraph original post condensed to three paragraphs, I can move on with my interesting search of Hammond properties.

You can get a nice little place for $50,000. Three bedrooms.

A six bedroom place for $75,000. That must be a typo. It looks like a small house. How do they get six bedrooms there? And who needs six bedrooms?

Here's a place on the street where my friend used to live. Similar to the place I lived. Not bad. $125,000. Three bedrooms. Garage. Wow, a fireplace. Wonder if it works. Yeah, it does. Sweet. Full dining room. Full kitchen. 1.5 bathrooms. Only 20 minutes from downtown Chicago. Built in 1946. There was a big housing boom after the war, of course. The returning soldiers didn't want to live like animals any more in crowded tenements and the nation was thriving economically, the income was the most equitably distributed as it has ever been, and it all came together.

Hey, here's a place on my childhood street. How weird that I don't recognise it. It was on the same block as me even. Must have been ten houses down. Let me check Google Street View. Maybe it will jog my memory.

Aw, that's weird. This is right next to a childhood friend's house. He lived on the corner. And we weren't friends really but we walked to school together every day because we lived on the same street and I was on the way. His sister was friends with my sister, though.

Anyway, I remember the guy who lived in this house that's for sale. We called him "Young Joe". There used to be an "Old Joe", his father, but he died. We used to hang around his house and somewhat harass him. His backyard was all dark and creepy and no lawn, just dirt. I remember one time we were looking at either him or his father in a window (I remember it only in silhouette) and then a large discharge of mucus fell out of his nose and we all ran away screaming.

I don't know about Old Joe but Young Joe had mental health problems. He always wore a hat like they wore in the 1950s (this was the 1980s) and he was a nice guy when talking to him (my mother talked to him) but there were some incidents when he wouldn't take his medication. He allegedly walked around naked, for example. I mean, these things happen. He wasn't doing it for fun. He had problems.

Then after his father died he rented the place out to an old woman. The woman stayed there for a while but then something happened and she said that she was moving and I assume she did.

So...yeah, I think Young Joe was still alive when I lived there so he must have died. I don't know when. Maybe this is a subsequent owner who's selling now. Or maybe he didn't die but just wants to move to Florida or whatever. Or he's going to a nursing home.

Anyway, the place is for sale. $169,000. Six bedrooms, allegedly. I mean...I lived in a similar sized house on the same street and we had three bedrooms. So I don't know how these six bedroom properties exist.

Wow, maybe it is. Three kitchens, three bathrooms. 2.5 car garage. Something described as a "mother in law apartment". In the UK, this is called an "annexe" apparently. I guess like a divided part of the house with its own entrance and fully contained with own bathroom and kitchen and whatever. That's awesome. Probably where that old woman lived.

Finished basement. Holy crap. That means it's like carpeted and shit so it doesn't look like a basement.

New roof in 2005. Man. I'm going to check out the pictures.

Stairs look brand new. Great wooden bannisters. Nice little porch with a swing. Well-maintained trees and shrubs. Front door looks rock solid. You can bet there's a handle on that shit. I'm pretty much sold already but let's go inside.

Aw wait. First they give you a close up of those stairs and the bannister. That's some fine woodwork and masonry. Must have had a master carpenter do this bannister. Just awesome. Close up of the door. Looks new. Impecably maintained.

Now we're inside. As soon as you're inside, there's a little staircase to the right. Find out what that is later, I guess. To the left is the living room, I think. Yeah. Great decor. Old fashioned to be sure but this is good shit. Nothing from IKEA here. Vintage, high-quality furniture. Huge bay window. Great stuff.

Then a little dining room. Big ass display case of bowls and whatnot. Radiator and a window air conditioning unit in there. Kind of weird. Wonder if it has central heating and air.

Then behind the dining room there's a kitchen. Maybe a bit small but has everything you need. A table with chairs too so another dining area.

Then off of there there's a bedroom. It's not much more than a box room but it's nice.

Also off of the kitchen is a bathroom. Yeah, it's tiny but technically a full bathroom. They squeezed a bathtub and sink in there.

Then I think we're going up those stairs we saw when we first entered. Another kitchen. Looks bigger. Then an empty room. Maybe a bedroom. Another radiator so I guess no central heating.

Then...through a door...I don't know, some other rooms. Another tiny bathroom, same as before.

Then a hallway and another kitchen.

Another tiny bathroom.

Now I think we're in the basement. Yeah, it's carpeted and furnished. Just the one photo, sadly.

Now the garage. Yeah, you can fit 2.5 cars in there no problem.

Backyard looks really nice now.

Another close up of those front steps. They are nice.

And that's it. Yeah, I'll take it. What kind of deposit do they want? Unknown but they estimate a mortgage of £625/month. Holy crap. That's like...£400. For this place? And I could rent out the mother in law apartment for extra cash? That's nuts. When they say "priced to move" they weren't joking.

The place is estimated at $200,000, DOUBLE the rest of the neighbourhood, but they're selling at $169,000. I'd have the nicest house on the block.

I mean, there's so much space in there, that the current owners aren't even using half of the rooms. It's crazy. I'm taking it.

Yeah, it's cool. I'll think about it. I mean, £400/month? I might buy it but still live in the UK and just use it as a rental property. Get a few responsible students in there. They estimate $1,500/month in rental income. That place is a licence to print money. And in the summers, I can kick the students out and use it as my own bachelor pad. "There goes Young Pete in his fedora" they'll say. "Maybe put some pants on."