Not watching it, dawgs. Not watching that shit.

You know what those Jewish Chose People at ITV2 are doing now? Showing Britain's Got More Talent in between two, one hour blocks of Family Guy. "Hammocking", I think those Jew tv producers call it. Put a crappy show in between two good shows and people will be too lazy to change the channel.

It often works. For example, when they put that piece of crap Plebs in that hammock, I watched it.

But Britain's Got More Talent? I do them one better than changing the channel. I just turn that shit off and don't watch any of it. Family Guy, Britain's Got More Talent, none of it.

And they'll often show that putrid Two and a Half Men before Family Guy. When I see shit like this, I wonder who's watching it. It's absolute lowest common denomonitor viewing. The jokes are hackey, crude, and obvious. Yet the studio audience and/or laugh track doubles over in laughter over every single joke. And you know who else must be laughing? The American television viewing audience. This show was on for like ten years. And it's also obviously popular in the UK.

It reminds me of the time that my lady friend asked me if I was watching Mrs Brown's Boys. I went off on a ten minute rant about how stupid it is and only morons would watch this low brow drivel. She said, "Well...I know it's not great but I like it."

Similarly, she asked me if I enjoyed Two Broke Girls and I went off on how base and by the numbers this slackjawed situation comedy was, not to mention racist. Again, she sheepishly expressed admiration for the program.

So...I don't know. I felt bad about effectively calling her a dullard and a philistine but I just don't get it. It's baffling. How are these shows popular? Who's enjoying them? There's absolutely no intelligence to the comedy.

And I'm not even sure if that's the issue. The Three Stooges didn't regularly tackle social commentary but I can still appreciate their work. Or more contemporary...maybe Everybody Loves Raymond. It's pretty good. I can watch it. It's not heavy stuff.

But this Two and a Half Men...quite honestly, I know the jokes before they say them. But I think, "No way are they going to say this ridiculously obvious joke" but then they do. And the audience are shitting their chairs in laughter.

Hey, boobies. That's funny. And that kid is going to say something about masturbating. And then that same joke about masturbating. And of course, good comedy comes in threes so he'll say that same exact joke a third time. And the audience roars approval.

And my lady friend and millions like her are watching this garbage and saying, "Hey, this is pretty good. I like this. 'Mastication!' Sounds a bit like...you know...!"

Everything can't be Frasier but give me something. Give me a tiny bit of credit. Don't assume that I'm a complete idiot. Maybe put a marginally intelligent joke in there once in a while, just to keep me entertained. But no, it's just 22 minutes of "hey, look at these titties! And now the fat maid or whoever said something sassy!" Fuck off with this brain dead shit.

So yeah, the tv is just staying off and fuck ITV and those Hollywood Jews dumbing down the world with this shit. It's not even that Family Guy is exactly Masterpiece Theater. But it's reasonably intelligent. That's all I ask. Don't treat me like a moron.

And yeah, Britain's Got More Talent. I've never watched it. But I don't even think this is the main show. From the description, it seems to be a behind the scenes "bonus" show. Like...oh, Big Brother's Little Brother. Was that it? I think so.

They put this piece of shit in prime time. In between two Family Guy blocks.

And I was reading right here on TIY--TMB a comment about watching Hulu or whatever. I don't watch this shit. What the fuck do I want to watch from American tv that's worth any amount of hassle? I don't even know what the shows are from the past ten years and I don't care.

People at my previous job used to talk endlessly about whatever shit American tv show that was in vogue at the time. I can't even remember what they were. Some Lord of the Rings rip off or something. I'm an adult. What do I want to watch this for? Dragons and half-elves and shit.

Maybe intelligent people aren't watching tv. I can tell you that I'm not making some kind of political statement by not watching anything. I just cannot bring myself to watch this horseshit. It's infuriatingly stupid.

Let's check Tinder out. I changed my location to Delhi. Not one match in 24 hours of swiping. I'm surprised that Tinder is at all popular in India what with arranged marriages and all. And you know what else I noticed? These are rather unattractive people. Also unusual: everything is in English.

I'm looking at lists of tv shows that intelligent people enjoy. It's all shit, though. Dr Who...Big Bang Theory...Star Trek...and then a bunch of shows that I've never watched and in some cases never heard of.

https://www.theodysseyonline.com/11-television-shows-for-intelligent-people

If these are the top shows for the intelligentsia, then television clearly is not for me.

I'll tell you what I did enjoy and still holds up today: Mystery Science Theatre 3000. I've been singing this show's praises for 20 years and not a single person has been spurred to watch it after my recommendation. So it's an example of the sort of simpletons watching television and why totally mindless drivel like Two and a Half Men goes on for a decade.

It's like I told my lady friend about an episode of the Twillight Zone that really spoke to me. I explained how it resonated with my life and how clever and well-written it was. Told her she should watch it. She never did. It conflicted with her Mrs Brown's Boys committments, I guess.

And Mystery Science Theater 3000 is coming back. I was excited at first. But each new announcement lessened my joy to the point where I no longer care and I won't be watching it. Special guests! Jerry Seinfeld! And a bunch of other Hollywood Jews. The show didn't have special guest stars in it's original run.

And the people they have starring in this thing are all semi-popular actors in nerd culture. The original show had unknown actors. That's what added to it's charm. These are people who weren't actors before the show and they probably won't be actors after the show. These are real people. Real people from Minnesota. The cow town puppet show.

I'd say that having people like Felica Day starring in this remake is pandering but who is it pandering to? From everything that I've read, these actor choices have been univerally panned.

Perhaps it's because the average fan of Mystery Science Theater 3000 has a bit more going on upstairs than your average television viewer. They see that it's an obvious attempt at pandering. But why? And who's the target audience of this thing?

They're actors from nerd culture. I don't even know any of them. But why nerd culture? I don't consider Mystery Science Theater 3000 fans to be nerds. The average fan probably isn't a big muscular biker but you don't have to be a nerd to appreciate witty comments being made during a bad film.

So I can't even enjoy Mystery Science Theater 3000. The remake, anyway. It just looks so bad. Thank god I resisted the urge to spend money on their fundraising scam.