I can't bring myself to message this girl. It's just gross. All the piercings. I can't be bothered uploading pictures so I'll just count down the piercings.

Through the middle of the bottom lip

Two below the lip on each side

Two about the lip on each side

A huge stretchy thing in the slightly notched area above the lip and below the nose

One through each cheek

An enormous stretchy thing under the nose ala cartoon bulls

Two nose studs on each side quite up the nose, about the nostrils

Two things in her forehead like an Indian woman might have. I don't even know how these are possible

Stretched earlobes that look infected

Possibly a forked tongue

Oh, and she's bald. She sometimes wears wigs.

She's also anorexic.

I get a lot of these young anorexic women on Tinder. I don't know if it's just because anorexic women are particularly looking for father figures or that my svelte physique offers some "thinspiration" for them.

Also matched with a 19 year old a few days ago who again, I didn't match. Just too damned unattractive.

I'm not sure what's more tragic. That some people are just naturally unattractive and this cosmic accident dooms them to a life of solitude or attractive women intentionally defacing themselves.

Another day of no tv. Those tv licence people are pretty persistent, though. Keep sending me mail and I think they were at my door a couple of times recently. I didn't answer.

I mean...well, I don't know. I watch live tv on my phone through Filmon dot com. But is this a legal service? Tvguide dot co dot uk links to these streams but still, I don't think they're legal. It's not the official BBC live stream or official Channel 4 live stream and shit like this. It's just some nerd sitting in his home live streaming this stuff from his television.

So I take the view that I can't be expected to pay for an illegal service. If I was watching the official BBC stream, then yes, I have to pay for the license. But some bootleg shit? No, I don't think so.

It's the Al Capone tax evasion defence. They went after him for not paying taxes on his bootlegging operation but legend has it that he remarked, "They can't collect legal taxes on illegal money."

Speaking of Chicagoans, I found my yearbooks. Not that I'm from Chicago. But close. It was a five minute walk to Chicago. And unlike my classmates, Al Capone moved. I think he was from New York. Then moved to Chicago. I know he spent a lot of time in Florida sort of vacationing. Let me check Wikipedia. Yeah, that's all true. Born in New York, moved to Chicago, died in Florida.

Let's check out the yearbooks then. I'll look at my 9th grade one. This was in the Catholic school.

I'll be damned. I opened up to the 12th grade section and saw a familiar name. "Wasn't this guy a councilman or something?" Yeah, kind of. I was probably thinking of his father but this guy became a councilman in 2011. Found his Linkedin. So good for him.

But what was he doing before that? Nothing impressive. Worked in a big chain hardware store. Worked up to manager. Did that for ten years. Then worked as a realtor, which he still does today.

Hey, here's a new person. Took the bus with her. She lives near Chicago, works as a pharmacy technician (whatever that is), and appears to have two children and no husband.

I'm just typing people's names into Facebook's people search. It's not great. Used to be much better when you could browse by high school and graduating year. But still, it works for people with unusual names.

Here's a girl I went to grade school and high school with but nothing interesting. Has a couple of daughters, I think. Possibly a husband, judging from the name, but no pictures of him.

Here's a guy whose father was a mortician. He's a mortician now too. Hasn't updated in a while. Nothing interesting.

A surprising number of Asians here. As a kid, I thought they were just Mexicans but looking at the names now, these are Filipinos.

Some girl I don't remember has two kids and a husband.

Here's some guy I kind of knew. Joined the military. Became a religious fanatic of sorts. Still lives in the ghetto.

Here's the black girl who said that she had an "ignorant" dream. Still lives in the ghetto. A teacher in a real, hardcore ghetto. A liberal amount of Jesus references. Possibly married. Oh, yeah. Has a baby as well. Black husband, black baby. Good for her. I guess.

I mean...maybe my standards are just lower for black people. Finding a black man who will stick around after the child is born is an accomplishment in their community. Although, it seems to be early days. And having a job as semi-respectable as a teacher is likewise somewhat rare.

But even aside from this, she seems to be doing better than a lot of these former classmates. So...great.

Wow. Really unattractive woman who I don't remember. Seems to be single and doing a menial job. Still lives in the ghetto. Has cats. Possibly has a daughter. Oh yeah. Does have a daughter. No husband.

How did this black girl get an Irish name? Kind of weird. Don't know how many Irish plantation owners there were. I don't mean that to be insulting, it's just historically accurate.

Oh, here's a guy I went to school with from about 6th to 10th grade. Recently updated his photo. It used to be a picture of him holding a fish but that was from years ago. Now it's a picture of him holding a different fish and he's much fatter. He must really like fish. He's also bald.

Some guy I don't remember really enjoys baseball. I won't even bookmark this shit. It's too boring.

Some gay guy is a hair colourist.

That's just about it. Nothing exciting.