Went to Inverness yesterday. Stayed in a hotel. A four star hotel. Five is the maximum.

This place had hard, crunchy towels; no iron; no ironing board, no thermostat in the room so no way to control the temperature; no slippers; no bathrobe; bare minimum tea and coffee options; and the two little things of soap that they provided were so baffling that I just didn't bathe.

In my entire life, I've never been unable to open a bottle of soap. But this shit...just unbelievable.

Tiny room as well.

And it was like a sauna in there.

The staff were okay. No problems there.

And it wasn't bad. I'd stay again, I guess. But there's no way that this is a four star hotel. How did they get this rating?

I stayed in a Jury's Inn in Aberdeen. This is a three star hotel. It was way, way better than this hotel in Inverness. It had soft, fluffy towels; an iron and an ironing board; a thermostat in the room; don't think it had slippers; don't think there was a bathrobe either; decent coffee and tea options; and decent amount of soap in normal bottles that a naked, tool-less, wet human being can open.

I stayed in a four star hotel in Dublin. This place was amazing. Soft, fluffy towels; an iron and ironing board; a thermostat in the room; two pairs of slippers; a bathrobe; a wide selection of exotic coffees and teas; and literally about ten bottles of soap.

This hotel in Inverness must be the worst four star hotel on earth. They also block traveladvisor dot com on their wifi. I wasn't even going there to read reviews on their hotel. I was blocked and then kicked off the wifi like I was looking at porn.

You could also hear the people in the adjacent rooms. Not that they were loud. But you could hear them looking in their closet, for example. You'd hear the hangers move. The walls must be paper thin.

Anyway, I had £25 to spend on food for that day so I took full advantage. Got a Big Mac meal for lunch. That was like £5. Then got a curry from a takeaway for dinner. It took me about 3 hours to eat half of it. It was cold by the end, of course, but I didn't want to waste it. I got like £20 worth of food. The curry, rice, bread, and some vegetable things. I didn't eat the vegetable things at all because they weren't what I thought they were. I ate most of the bread. Not much of the rice. By the end, I gave up trying to mix the rice with the curry and just focused on eating as much of the curry as I could. It was just too much food.

Then the case ended up not getting heard due to lack of court time.

Three and a half hours to get to Inverness. What a waste of time and money. Although, that wasted money goes to me so I can't complain too much.

Came home and there was no food. So I ordered from the local Pakistani place.

Just-Eat no levies a 50p "service fee" on all orders. I realised that when I ordered in Inverness. So that's the last time I use Just-Eat.

I wasn't happy with their business model anyway. They take 13% of every sale from the restaurant.

But...having to call these takeaways and talk to somebody who barely speaks English...it's painful. So that's why I used Just-Eat.

Fortunately, some places have their own ordering website. This Pakistani place is an example.

So I ordered a big donner kebab and a big chicken kebab.

Now, I've ordered from these people before. A few times. Indeed, I've placed this exact order before.

I don't know what they sent. The chicken looks like sausage. I know what chicken looks like. It doesn't look like sausage. Why does this chicken look like sausage?

Oh. Chicken tikka. I got the BBQ chicken tikka. They don't even offer a regular chicken kebab. That's weird.

So that mystery is solved. But what about this donner kebab? There's cheese all over it. I didn't ask for cheese. I didn't even know that this was an option. I've never heard of such a thing.

And I asked for a hot chili sauce and a garlic sauce but they just gave me two hot chili sauces.

Maybe calling wouldn't be any worse. They can't get online orders right either.