My problem is this. I fear using a public bathroom (or any bathroom that is not in my house) I try to go beforehand to ensure that I won't have to go anywhere else. So, yes, I am pretty sure I know where my problem comes from. My questions: Can anyone else freak themselves out so much about using a public toilet that their body automatically has to go? (or as I like to say "I think, therefore I poo"!) Also, what do you think others think about a person having a BM in a busy public bathroom? Are we all just so aware of these things since we have this problem and no one else cares or notices? I surely know when someone is pooping in the next stall, but I am be over sernsitized into thinking to myself "Oh my god, how are they able to do this?"
While I am out (say, at a restaurant), I start worrying about having to go and it starts the vicious cycle of an anxiety attack, the increase in adrenlin, the body's need to move things faster and, lo and behold, I have to go...now!
So, anyhow, I know where my anxiety comes from. My immediate family used to really put shame and having a BM hand-in-hand. My sister is the type who constipates herself to avoid going and then chastizes anyone for using her bathroom to have a BM. I worry myself to the point I think I am developing IBS.
I could be looking too far into this, but I think maybe it has something to do with control? My sister can hold it in therefore she's in control, I need to go therefore I am weak.
My mother has always tagged anyone having a BM as "Are you feeling ok?" As though it is not natural.
My father has always been a jokester with that kind of thing "Light a match when you're done!" He also, I think, falls under the category that a pooping girl should not exist?!
I just don't know where to go from here.
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